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know, you’d think that in today’s modern age, with all of the products
getting built better and with less cost involved that someone could do something
about airplanes. In the past 20 years or so we have built better and faster
computers at much cheaper prices. Our cars are more energy efficient than 20
years ago. So what happened to the airline industry? I just came back from
Germany and spent a total of about 45 hours going over there and coming back
home. Now, in my mind with everything else working better it would seem to me
that the same should apply to airplanes, but it doesn’t. Instead of airplanes
getting more power from their engines, so they can build bigger and more roomer
airlines, the reverse had happened. The cabins seem smaller and there are more
people. Now, in today’s modern jetliner, you have two classes…comfort and
steerage. No, come to think of it that doesn’t accurately describe the seating
accommodations, it’s more like the old Roman Galleys where the wealthy folks
sat out on the deck and the slaves were down in the hold rowing. Granted we
don’t row anymore, but in the movies I’ve seen, it did look like those guys
had a little more room to stretch out. Of course, we don’t get beat like the
slaves did, but maybe I could look into that and see if you could get a better
seat for say, 10 or 20 lashes. Anyway, while sitting in my personal confinement
space for nearly 2 days, I had a chance to observe the following…..first off,
the distance between the back of my seat and the back of the seat of the oaf in
front of me equals to the distance from my elbow to the tips of my finger. The
seat is this wide as well. This is the best I can get under the best of
circumstances until the oaf in front of me chooses to recline his seat to the
maximum which then decreases my personal space by at least 1/3. So, here you are
in a huge metal contraption flying at 40,000 feet in the air and you are stuck
in a box a little larger than a high school locker. Meanwhile you can hear
laughter flowing from the royalty up in first class, who are telling stories and
sleeping and having a fine old time. I’m certain they never hazard a thought
as to what or who might be behind those gray curtains. They might be shocked to
see real live human beings instead of cargo or the luggage. No, compassion
doesn’t seem to flow in the blue bloods up in the front of the plane. Thoughts
of mutiny race through your head and you wonder how many of the peasants in your
section would rally around you to take over the better seats and cast the
bourgeois pampered back into the cattle car section and see how they like it. I
suppose it’s fortunate that I am strapped into my seat so tightly that I
cannot extricate myself to move around to poll the other travelers on their
feelings. About the time I decide I can’t take it any longer the meal
comes…..Now, here you are sitting shoulder to shoulder with a total stranger
and both of you are feeding from those little airline plastic troughs that the
food comes in these days. Inside of your personal space you have an available
range of motion to move either arm of about 10 degrees in any one direction.
Moving both arms is out of the question. So, you try to open your cracker (note
I said cracker, not crackers) with one hand and your teeth. Then you must try
and dispose of the positively charged plastic that has terminal velocity static
cling somehow using your hand and shaking it with the 10 degrees of motion to
get it off your finger. I notice most other passengers give up on getting rid of
it and just eat it with the salad. This tells me they are definitely not
potential mutiny comrades. Somehow we survive the meal. Then we get another
round of drinks. You’d think someone would notice that when you pack 300-400
people into a small space and then give them a lot of fluids to drink, then you
may need more than 2 toilets. Perhaps it’s part of their plan to keep you
occupied and not have thoughts of mutiny when you have to go and are standing in
a line that you know won’t allow you to get any relief for at least 30-40
minutes. Finally you get back into your seat and are buckled down as
required…..Then the babies start crying. You never hear any babies cry from
the front of the plane. Why is that? Do they let babies fly in first class? Am I
in some perdition database that tells the reservation clerks…"Oh, yes,
here’s old Peary flying again…let’s see who has a small child 18 months or
younger that we can sit behind him?" What sins could I have possibly
committed that has caused me to have to suffer this time after time? Finally
your back and rear end somehow freeze up from lack of motion and your brain goes
numb, effectively ceasing any hostile thoughts from being produced in your head.
Somehow the hours pass and you stand with all of the other mindless robots and
shuffle off the aircraft. When you reach the end of the ramp one of the crew
smiles and says…"We hope you enjoyed the flight…." and you, you
who were going to overthrow the privileged and stand up for human rights only a
few short hours ago, look up with uncomprehending eyes and a brain that is
turned off and you smile.. and make an odd bleating noise and go silently into
the night.
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