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Letters From North America |
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I think that from time to time, I managed to convey to you my serious dislike of voice mail. Most of the contraptions that we have gotten used to are of major benefit to us in one way or another. Computers save us time; microwaves make it possible to re heat the coffee, even answering machines allow us to listen to messages that we may have missed while we were out of the house or office. What I really have a problem with are these voice mail systems that have about a zillion levels to them. Case in point, the other day I was reminded that we still had an unlisted phone number here |
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For questions or comments, please contact me at pperry@austin.rr.com Designed and Hosted by The Home Page Factory |
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at the Casa. I had called the phone company about a month or so ago to get it listed and had really forgotten about it until this friend called and said she and her husband were here and wanted to call us, but had left the number at their house and weren’t able to get our number from information. To test this, I called and asked what information they had for me. The operator told me that they had an unlisted number AND they had a listed number. Well, right off, I knew something was screwed up. What’s this all about? So I asked why she had 2 listings and she tells me…”It’s because you have 2 phone numbers.” Well, yes that’s right, but the 2nd number is for my fax and computer so who cares about that one? She informs me that I’ll have to call the business office to get this straight. I don’t know about you, but I’d just about rather have open-heart surgery than to have to call the telephone business office. Here’s what happens to you…. First you get the general greeting…..”Welcome to Ma Bell..Please choose from one of the following 32 selections. To insure quality service this call may be monitored. To have your telephone completely disconnected and moved to another state, please press 1. To inquire about your telephone bill for the year 1985, please press 2. To discuss the driving habits of the telephone repairmen, please press 3. To have a phone installed in your garage, please press 4. To have a phone installed in your attic, please press 5. An on and on and on. About 10 minutes into this stroll down mad mans lane, you get fed up and punch the button “0”. Does this get you the operator, so you can ask a human how to reach the department you want? Of course not. It gets you back to the main greeting and you have to hear…”You have chosen an incorrect extension…Welcome to Ma Bell….” Then you have to carefully listen to another 25 minutes of options. You finally select option #17 since it sounds like it may be the one you want. Where does this one go? Well, to another option speech. This one says…”For problems with your white page listing press 1. For problems with your yellow page listing press 2. For problems with any other listing press 3. Well, of course you press 3, thinking you may soon get to a human in there somewhere. Now you end up with a message that goes like this…”All of our operators (sure- maybe 1 for the entire Southern part of the entire United States) are currently busy helping other customers like yourself. Please be patient and your call will be answered in the order in which it was received”. How do I know that? Most of the time I don’t believe that my call is answered in the order it was received. I happen to think that other people get ‘cuts’ and get to talk to the operator before I do. Like maybe friends of the phone company employees or some government officials. This is just a theory, but I still think it anyway. I’m also suspicious of those voices that tell me…”Your call will be answered in approximately 7 minutes.” How do they know the other people will be off the line in 7 minutes? What if they talk slow? I think everyone gets the same message, whether it’s the truth or not. After about an hour, and my ear has lost all it’s feeling, a real person comes on the line. Now, let me say that at this point in this process, if it was a choice between hanging up and having to start over because you smelled something burning in the kitchen, well, I can always rebuild the kitchen if it burns. I may not be able to speak to this person again. So, I tell them my problem. All I want is the listed number to appear at information, wherever that is. She says, ” Well that’s all that appears, since the other number is unlisted.” “Well, that’s the problem”, I tell her. If the operator reads the fact that I have an unlisted number first, then the caller wanting to find me doesn’t say..”Do they have any other numbers, maybe one that IS listed?” Nope, they just hang up and forget about calling me. She doesn’t seem to get the gist of the problem and so switches me over to her supervisor (expect to hear some clicks….your blood pressure goes up 20 points since you are thinking you are being disconnected.) The supervisor tells me she can’t see any problem since I have both a listed and an unlisted number. I argue with her, and try to point out that I don’t want the unlisted number mentioned since it confuses people. She says, “How can it be confusing, it’s unlisted?” After pounding my head against the desk for a few minutes, I ask to speak to her supervisor. This person tells me that we can’t talk about the unlisted number since it doesn’t exist since it is unlisted. How can they manage to find it every month when the bill goes out, but can’t at any other time? I think I just lost this one. I can’t tolerate the idea of having to call back and perform the mental equivalent of standing in line again. I KNOW someone gets cuts ahead of me, don’t you?