Letters from North
America
In
writing these columns I
like to think that I’m
objective enough to
point out the positive
as well as the negative
viewpoints of a specific
subject. Take for
example extreme wealth.
I’m all for it and would
like to see more of it
come my way, if at all
possible. There I’ve
said something positive;
now let’s hit the down
side.
Since extreme wealth may
not happen to me in my
lifetime (I don’t think
I’ll care too much about
it after I’m dead) I’ll
endeavor to enlighten
you as to why I think we
should abstain from
envying those who are
plagued by this
calamity.
First off there are
simply too many choices
to be made if you’re a
wealthy person. Imagine
how difficult it is when
you have several homes
scattered around the
globe. Do we do
Thanksgiving in San
Tropez or Staad?
Christmas in the
Hamptons or Scottsdale?
Oh wait…do we still have
that little place in
Palm Beach? I forget.
Where are our cars? Do
we still have any cars?
Do we still have to do
that New Years Party
with Mumsy? Didn’t we
have a dog? Could you
have left it in Paris?
We need a new cook; this
one uses too much salt.
What happened to our old
one? She died? When?
Life is difficult enough
without having troubles
such as these. If you’re
fortunate enough to live
in an apartment and have
enough money to buy food
and clothing, then let
me suggest that you are
one lucky person.
Imagine all of the
headaches you have
avoided by not having to
make decisions like
where you can get the
best yield on all of
your certificates of
deposit or which new
gown designer you’ll
need for that party in
June.
These kinds of issues
would surely tax your
strength and test your
resolve. Just last week
I was in Europe on
business. In the
bathrooms the toilets
have two buttons, one
big one and one little
one. You must make a
decision on which one to
use. Who needs stress
over flushing a toilet?
I certainly don’t.
Imagine if you had
toilets all over the
world in your various
houses. You’d probably
need a chart just to
tell you how to operate
each one. You surely
need an operations
manual to figure out how
to use foreign
televisions. At home,
you have a remote which
has buttons that say
words which can be
understood such as …on
and off or mute. In
Europe you have buttons
with little pictures.
None of which make any
sense to someone like
me. It’s as if you
showed me a picture of a
man riding a bicycle
with a birthday cake on
his head…I have a hard
time figuring out just
what this is supposed to
mean. I end up calling
the front desk and ask
them to send someone up
to show me what to do. I
get a European teenager
who presses three or
four buttons in quick
succession while
covering his fingers
(deliberately I might
add) so that I can’t
duplicate his actions.
He waits for a tip. This
leaves me with two
choices….call the desk
again and pay out
another tip to be shown
again or simply leave
the television on for
the length of my stay in
the hotel. I choose to
do the latter. If you
were rich, you would
have someone with you to
perform those functions
for you and thus save
yourself a sizeable
amount of grief. Of
course, you have to
think about how you get
this person from one
place to another and
what else they would be
doing while not helping
with the television
remote control. More
decisions…more stress.
You’ve seen those old
movies where the butler
or servants are standing
in the corners of the
room waiting to be
called upon. Can you
imagine how tedious this
would be if you had one
of those with you even
if you had the biggest
room at the Holiday Inn?
Seems to me it would be
a lot of trouble to have
Jeeves or whatever their
name is just standing
around all day waiting
for you to bark out some
command. I don’t think I
could do it; I’d want to
talk to them and make
friends with them, which
is apparently a big
no-no in the world of
the wealthy.
So, to sum this up….I
trust I’ve given you
some thoughts that will
make you consider just
how lucky you are in
your present
circumstances and that
you will reevaluate your
financial position and
decide that having mega
millions isn’t
necessarily a good
thing.
Comments go to
pperry@austin.rr.com
