Well here it is that
time of the year
once more. Normally
all of us go out of
our way to make
lists of things we
intend to do in the
forthcoming year.
These are called New
Year’s
Resolutions.
Another name for
them would be … “the
best of intentions.”
All of us vow to
lose weight,
exercise more, be
kinder to others,
save more money, eat
better foods and on
and on. Health clubs
do a booming
business for about
the first ninety
days of the year and
then the members get
tired and fall back
into their evil
ways. The cycle then
begins to repeat
itself by us
forgetting our
resolutions and
sinking back into
the depths of
depravity by sucking
down those cola’s,
eating chocolate and
‘forgetting’ our
workout clothes
which keeps us from
going to the gym. So
much for good
intentions.
It’s not that we’re
bad, we’re just
human.
But this year is
going to be
different. Of course
I will attempt to
lose weight and take
better care of
myself that goes
without saying, but
I have several new
resolutions.
For one, I am going
to refuse to send
out alert type
e-mails until I
check them for their
truthfulness first.
You know what I
mean, those that
come to you on a
regular basis
telling you that the
government is going
to start taxing our
e-mails or that I
need to add my name
to the national ‘do
not call’ registry
since it is going to
close in the next 48
hours. I might want
to rethink my
position on the tax
matter, or anything
related to the
government. They
might start taxing
air if we’re not
careful.
I will not open any
more e-mails from
some distant widow
lady or banker in
Nigeria. I know I am
a good guy, and I am
probably throwing
away a lot of money,
but really how do
they manage to find
me? In 2008, I bet I
was the lucky
recipient of over
350 million dollars
that had been left
to me by some one in
Africa or as the
result of my name
being randomly drawn
from some Irish
sweepstakes. I took
several of these
letters to my local
banker and tried a
borrow enough to get
a new car. You can
guess how far this
went.
Bill Gates does not
want to share his
fortune with me. I
have given up on
trying to get my
share of his loot. I
know, I am probably
passing up another
good opportunity,
but I have sent
those letters out to
over 400 of my
friends and have
never gotten a penny
back from old Bill.
Forget this for
2009.
My luck has not
gotten better as a
result of sending on
the “Mother Mary
prayer chain” to all
of the folks on my
e-mail list. My luck
has not gotten any
worse for having
broken the prayer
chain from some
group of singing
nuns in Ontario. I’m
sorry if this chain
has been going
around the world for
over ten years. It
stopped with me. God
can sue me if He
wants to do so. I’ll
take it up with Him
in person.
I firmly resolve not
to fall victim to
any more television
ads from Billy Mayes
and that new guy who
wears the phony
headset. I have
enough Snuggies,
Shamwow and Oxiclean
to last me a
lifetime. I do want
the new food chopper
that came out last
week, but that will
be the last of it. I
promise.
The only thing I can
tell you that I
would do if and when
I have the time is
to record the
memories of old
people. By old, I
mean older than me.
I realized this past
year that those
memories die if they
aren’t written or
recorded. I did a
project on my 88
year old aunt about
her experiences in
WWII and would have
loved to have done
one with other
relatives of mine
before they died.
They have so much to
share about their
lives. We need to
listen and record
these experiences
before it’s too
late. Come to think
of it, I plan on
taking more
photographs of
everyone this coming
year. You should do
the same. Write
letters, keep a
journal, send
photographs to
family and friends.
The years come and
go so fast. Every
day you waste is one
you won’t get back.
Oh, yes and don’t
forget to been
kinder and eat more
vegetables.
Have a happy New
Year and the best to
all for 2009.
