Sorry7

Let me start this week off with an apology to those of you
who read my column.






For
the past several years I have been trying to hold on to a
business enterprise that I thought was going to make it, but
it didn’t. As hard as I tried to get the it all together and
make it turn out right, in the end it just wasn’t possible
and I had to shut it down a couple of weeks ago.



So, why the need for an apology? Simple, since I am now
unemployed, retired or whatever you want to call me, I have
had more time to sit and think about my personal behavior
over these past 36 or so months. I have started to realize
that my devotion to this column, my family and my friends
suffered due to my concern over my business. In moving my
office back to my house, I had a chance to look over some of
the columns I have written in the last couple of years. I
can look at these and tell when I have been under a lot of
stress and strain. It shows, perhaps not to you, but it does
to me. I hope it doesn’t show to you, but if it did then
this is why I am offering an apology.



Its very difficult to explain how my mind has been working
for the past couple of years. Its only when I have stopped
for the last couple of weeks that I have had a chance to see
what I was doing to my family and myself. I have always been
a hard charger. I multi task like crazy and have always
thought that doing so was the only way things got done.



During the past couple of weeks I have come to the
conclusion that my mind has been operating much like a CD
changer. Let me describe it this way. When I am in the room
or at dinner with my family, I am on track #1, but my mind
keeps switching to the other tracks and thinking of other
things. Thus, it seems like I am never quite what you might
call, in the moment. I may be there physically, but not
there mentally. Does this make sense?



During the past few weeks since I closed the business, I
have described this to a number of people. Men in particular
seem to identify with what I am saying and the women seem to
be more of the in the moment type of mentalities. Most women
I have spoken to admit that they know their husbands or
boyfriends aren’t really there (mentally) all of the time
when there is a discussion taking place. I didn’t do any
type of study to determine what the ages or length of their
relationships were so I cant comment on whether on not that
has anything to do with it or not.



I can tell you that the men I have discussed this with have
told me that they are aware of this situation and have often
thought about what to do and how to stop this from
happening. Most of them, like myself, have laughed at the
concept of stop to smell the roses but as we get older the
time to do so begins to get evaporate until it is often too
late.



So, what is the solution to all of this?



Simple, I am going to do nothing until after the first of
next year. I have no clue as to what I want to do to make a
living for the next phase in my life, but I know that
something will come along, it always has. I want some time
to just let my brain heal. I want to enjoy, really enjoy
Thanksgiving and Christmas with my friends and my family. I
want to be there physically as well as mentally to put up a
Christmas tree and I want to send out cards well before
December 24th or later.



I also want to spend more time thinking about what I put in
these weekly columns that you read so that it will have some
substance and may make you think about some concept or give
you a chuckle. You deserve this and I am determined to give
it to you.

 

Thanks for
reading my stuff; I promise to make it better.