Sorry

Each
week, I try to come up with something that I feel might be
of interest to you and then slant my viewpoint in a humorous
or satirical manner. Since I’ve been doing this for over 20
years, there have only been a few periods in which I’m
unable to put a funny spin on some topic or another.



This is one of those periods. I think the last one happened
during September of 2001. Nothing seemed funny for a long
time that month.



Years ago, in my other life, I was a cop in a big city in
this country. After having graduated from the police academy
I was yanked out and stuck in the Vice squad as an
undercover officer. It appears to me now that I was so dumb
and naïve that no criminal in his or her right mind would
think I was a real policeman. But I was.



They partnered me up with an older officer, who became a
mentor and a friend in spite of our ages and backgrounds. He
thought I was the dumbest thing that ever came out of police
school and I thought he was so old and decrepit that he
couldn’t keep up with me. It was not love at first sight. We
fought like cats and dogs and I can’t even begin to tell you
how bad it was, for a time. Then we agreed to discuss our
differences and work together. Once we got everything ironed
out, we tore the town up and made case after case that left
others standing in the dust, shaking their heads in
amazement. We were a great team.



I learned a lot from this man. He was a mentor of the first
order. ——- I also came to know his wife and three
beautiful daughters, who were just kids 40 years ago. I’ve
watched them grow into young ladies and have kept up with
them over the years.



Neither of us retired from the police department. I left to
go into business and he left to go into ranching. I didn’t
know anything about business, and he didn’t know anything
about ranching. Both of us survived and have made a decent
living along the way. We may not see each other very often,
but we talk on the phone and we always know each of us is on
the other end of the line if anything comes up. That’s what
friends are for.



Last week, his oldest daughter died. His youngest daughter
went to assist with the arrangements and became so saddened;
she suffered a brain aneurysm and is not expected to live as
well. My friend is making arrangements for her funeral as
well.



Two daughters in one week.



When I talk to him, I cannot find any words to say. I just
listen to him in his grief. We cry together. You want to
reach through the phone lines and just grab him in his
sorrow.



I can’t say it will be all right, because for right now, it
isn’t all right. Your kids aren’t supposed to die before you
do. It just isn’t natural. It isn’t right. It goes against
the order of things.



I can’t say, “I know how you feel” because I don’t. I’ve
lost a baby, but he was stillborn, not someone I had raised
for forty years. There’s a big difference. I cannot imagine
this, most of us can’t. I feel so useless. I want to say
something, but nothing comes out.



Someone once wrote,”These are the times that try men’s
souls.” I don’t know in what context he was referring, but I
feel this situation certainly qualifies if ever there was
one. All of us pray, we pray for the family and we pray for
ourselves as well. I don’t understand these things; I don’t
think any of us do. Our lives and our little problems are
minor and insignificant in comparison to something such as
this.



I want to hold my kids and keep them safe.



He wanted the same.



I don’t know what to say, except I’m sorry.