I
know you’re hoping
that this week’s
column will touch on
subjects like the
economy and the
stimulus plan which
seems to be taking
over our lives.
Alas, it is not to
be. I have had
enough news to last
me for some time and
those of you who are
interested in the
news will certainly
glean more from your
local paper or your
television. Not from
me.
No, this week I’m
going to take on a
couple of topics
which haven’t been
in the news as of
late.
The first is border
security and the
second is expiration
dates on milk
cartons. I know they
don’t relate, but
I’m working here to
get something down
on paper and you’re
reading so what the
heck? Stay with me.
My first topic
concerns something
called “Project 28”
which is a ‘virtual’
fence between Mexico
and Arizona. Now,
I’m not a rocket
scientist, but a
fence is a fence.
You either have one
or you don’t. We all
know what one looks
like. You may have
one in your back
yard. I’ve seen them
and so have you. But
now the government
has a awarded a
contract for around
$860 million of our
dollars to erect a
28 mile long virtual
fence south of
Tucson. I say it has
a cost of $860
million, when in
fact the spokesman
for the project
would not comment
other than to say….
‘The new system has
an undetermined
cost.’
How nice. I’d like
to get in on this
action. Maybe build
some virtual
crocodile defense
alarms for places
like say, New York
or Omaha. My theory
is to build these
and then monitor the
number of crocodile
attacks in those
areas. If none
occur, then I’m
certain the system
will be declared a
100% success. I can
envision virtual
fences in most of
the United States. I
think I’d leave out
Louisiana, Florida
and parts of Texas.
I’d like to focus on
North Dakota and
other locations.
Heck, I’ll even
throw in safeguards
against lion and
tiger attacks in
those parts of the
nation. If this
thing takes hold I
could go
international and
protect countries
such as Ireland
against things like
…snakes. Sounds like
a plan to me.
Seriously, the sad
part of this project
is the fact that as
of this date the
system falls short
of working as it was
intended. In one
news article, it was
revealed that the
contractor bought
off the shelf
software and tried
to make it work on
this application.
This was intended to
save time and to get
the system up and
running quickly. Now
they are asking for
an additional 45
million to upgrade
the computer
software. I would
have thought the
software would have
been a part of the
original bid, but
then again what do I
know?
Enough of that. My
second point this
week is the sell by
dates on things like
milk and other stuff
you buy in the
stores. My wife and
I have had a long
running discussion
over this issue. In
the overall scheme
of things it really
doesn’t matter, but
I still would like
to find the answer
before I pass on. My
contention is that
the ‘sell by’ date
on a gallon of milk
is to tell the store
that they have to
remove this item if
it isn’t sold by
that date. My wife
argues that this is
the expiration date
and that the product
isn’t any good any
longer and should be
thrown away. I know
that she has been
really sick these
past couple of weeks
when I found two
cartons of milk
still in the fridge
with ‘sell by’ dates
from the week
before. We had
actually used some
of it in our coffee
and as far as I know
suffered no ill
effects. She would
have never known
about it, if I
hadn’t brought it to
her attention. My
test for good or bad
milk… and I share
this with other male
friends of mine, is
that if it still is
a liquid and not a
complete solid, it’s
probably alright to
use. I cut the green
parts off of cheese
as well. Leftovers
to me are just
that…left over
from the week or so
before.
I think most men
will agree that
heating anything up
to say 250 degrees
successfully kills
any known harmful
substances in
whatever you have
around. I subscribe
to the theory that
pizza actually
tastes better a
couple of days after
you bought it. I
know meatloaf has a
usable shelf life of
about two weeks.
Throwing a meatloaf
away after only a
couple of days is a
sacrilege to me.
Whoever ate a warm
meatloaf sandwich?
Women seem to worry
excessively over
stuff like green
bread…the guys I
know just punch out
those parts and keep
the rest.
I’m way overdue for
a vacation.
