Murphy’s Law
Years ago, I
remember something called ‘Murphy’s Law’. As I recall, it followed
the axiom that if anything could go wrong, it would. You used to see
things in the paper about something happening and the woefully gone
wrong outcome was attributed to ‘Murphy’s Law’. It’s been years
since I’ve seen or heard anyone complain about something going wrong
and using this as a reason.
Well, this past week all of these years must have decided to catch
up with me at once. It was a week like none I have experienced for
many years. I’ll give you a recap.
First off, this time of the year.little black gnats or something
like these erupt in force and fly around my office. You can hardly
see them, but they are there and are annoying to say the least. You
look like you might be mentally unbalanced when you try to grab one
in front of some visitor who has no idea what you’re trying to do.
I’ve tried everything to get rid of them, to no avail. Finally in
desperation I decided to get one of those bug bombs at the store and
set it off when I left for lunch. I thought just closing my door
would keep the fumes from scattering throughout the rest of the
office. Sadly I had forgotten that the air-conditioning units
circulate around the entire office and quickly spread the toxic
chemicals into every office we have. As a result everyone got a free
afternoon and went home early. No long-term effects were recorded,
at least as of this date. Murphy’s Law in effect.
The next day I come to work expecting to get a lot done since I had
a short day the day before. Alas, it was not to happen. Several days
before I had placed an ad in the help wanted section of our local
paper for a job opening for a payroll clerk. Usually I just have
anyone interested to mail me a resume and then I can look it over
and see if we want to set up an interview. This time I included my
fax number and my e-mail address for good measure. The fax has not
stopped for the past several days and I have over 350 e-mails from
prospective applicants. There isn’t any way possible to look them
over and give each one the time they deserve. The more I tried to
respond and advise each applicant of the job requirements, the more
confusing it got. Those who e-mailed, started sending faxes and
those who had faxed started sending e-mails back to me. At the end
of the day I probably had over 400 different pieces of paper
floating around my desk…Murphy’s Law.
I went home hoping that things would get better but as you well
know, when it rains it pours. My wife and I had bought a couple of
metal gadgets to put over some of our smaller trees to keep the deer
from eating them down to the ground. These metal things have sharp
points at the base. Since they were in my driveway, I decided that
it made sense to stand them up in the yard so no one would drive
over them. So, like a good little trooper, I slammed one into the
ground without thinking about the sprinkler system. Now you would
think that the odds of hitting a small plastic water pipe going to
the sprinklers on a piece of property over one acre in size would be
rather remote, wouldn’t you? But, no ….I hit one dead in the middle…
causing a veritable geyser to gush over 20 feet tall. Spreading
dirt, mud, grass and whatever all over my new suit and me. Having
nothing further to lose I am then down on my knees by the box that
holds the water cut off valve trying to shut the water off. The box
is full of little frogs that keep getting in my way each time I try
to turn the valve handle. Finally I get the water turned off; the
frogs rescued and walk to the back porch looking like the creature
from the black lagoon. I decide to strip off my clothes and leave
them at the back door so I wouldn’t track mud and dirt into the
house. I no sooner get undressed and headed up the stairs then I see
the Federal Express lady headed for the front door with a package I
have been waiting on for several days. Since I can’t very well open
the door in my present condition I run into my closet, grab a robe,
trip over it and fall down busting my lip, then run downstairs to
try and stop her before she can leave but without success. I manage
to run down the driveway in my bathrobe looking like some mad man
shouting to the rapidly disappearing delivery driver. Murphy’s Law
at work again.
I slowly make my way into the house, trudge upstairs and take a long
hot bath. Stuff my filthy suit into a garbage bag to take to the
cleaners, call the sprinkler repair people, drink a big glass of
wine and call my office to tell them I’m not coming in the next day.
I’ve had it. It’s a wise man who knows when he’s licked.
