Morelobster


 

A few weeks back I wrote
about a grocery store chain…




A
few weeks back I wrote an article about a grocery chain
refusing to sell live lobsters as they were under pressure
from PETA to stop this’ barbaric’ practice. Seems PETA takes
the position that killing a lobster is ‘inhuman’ and to be
avoided at all costs.



I think their argument goes along the line that lobsters
(also known as roaches of the sea) certainly feel pain and
should be spared the brutality of boiling them in hot water.
I made the point that everything we eat was alive at one
point in time. I’m sorry to report that all of those tuna
fish sandwiches and hamburgers are the result of some animal
passing on to the big pasture in the sky. As they say about
bacon and eggs, the pig is committed but the chicken is only
involved.



I proposed that if we were left to eat only the things that
had no feeling, I think that left us with nothing but rocks.




As a result of my insensitivity, I received a number of
e-mails from kind folks such as this lady:



“I am shocked by your insensitivity and barbarianism. I am
not associated with PETA, but the suggestion of eating
family pets has crossed the line. I happen to have a pet
rock (she has been with our family for about 30 years now
and is still going strong, no signs of needing to send her
out to pasture or fill someone’s rock burger). I am offended
at your article suggesting that my beloved pet rock doesn’t
have feelings. She is a dear pet that is extremely well
behaved with a mellow personality and does not deserve to be
on any menu.”



I had completely forgotten about pet rocks. I have not
thought about them for years and guess I had just figured
they had all died out by now, but apparently not. Please
forgive me if I have offended you by my oversight. I can
only plead ignorance.



I wrote the lady making the above mentioned comment and
apologized to her if I had offended her. I told her that I
had also been contacted by some folks who had pet trees and
pet peeves. I have yet to find out exactly what a pet peeve
is, but a lot of people must have them since I heard from a
number of folks who started off by telling me that ‘one of
my pet peeves’ is such and such. I’m not certain I quite
understand their meaning, so I’ll have to do some more
research on this one and get back to you at a later date.




Since my article appeared some people wrote me to tell me
that they agreed with me on the feelings of carrots and
flowers. One woman in Oklahoma wrote and said that she does
her housework in the nude and sings to her flowers as she
cleans. She went on to say that they appear to listen to her
since they turn their little heads toward the sound. It made
me think they might have been just sneaking a peek and not
hearing her at all. I started to ask her to send me her
photo but then figured I’d mess up and be more insensitive
if I didn’t say the right thing after I saw what she looked
like.



You know I seem to recall that the guy who dreamed up the
pet rock in 1975 made several million bucks from his idea. I
checked Google and there is still a number of web sites
devoted to pet rocks along with a retirement home to send
your rock if it is causing you trouble or you think it needs
a rest. I suppose there is a penal institution somewhere for
it if it is convicted.



I’d bet 85% of the people today have never heard of a pet
rock…..now might be the time to bring them back…you could
always keep one on hand in case you need a snack….



I’m sorry; I just couldn’t resist that one…



Don’t forget to check out my new book…”Manuel Muldoon.”