Letters from North
America
Anyone
who has been married as
long as I have can
certainly relate to what
I am about to say. It
really makes little
difference how long you
have been married, there
are always going to be
daily challenges to your
relationship. You may
think you know how she
thinks and she may think
she knows how you think,
but in realty it
fluctuates on an ongoing
basis from day to day.
After all is said and
done, you may never get
through a lifetime of
marriage totally
understanding one
another. It really boils
down to the simple
things in our individual
daily lives.
For example, I like
cheeses. Old cheeses,
the older they are the
better they are. I’d
been saving three for
several months and went
to grab a bite yesterday
with a couple of
crackers and what do I
find? They’re gone. All
my cheeses have been
moved (I think someone
wrote a book about this)
and I can’t find them. I
ask my wife what
happened and she tells
me she cleaned out the
refrigerator and threw
those old things away,
they were getting old.
No kidding. So is the
wine.
I try to explain that I
like old cheese and she
shrugs and says she has
no excuse; they didn’t
look good to her so she
tossed them. So much for
that. I wonder if they
make a zip lock bag with
a combination lock on
it? Probably not. I’ve
mentioned before that
men view the ‘sell by’
date on the milk to be
just that…the day they
want the milk to be
sold…not the date it
goes bad. I’ve kept milk
in my refrigerator for
weeks at a time when I
was single and as long
as it came out as a
liquid I thought it was
ok. When it clumped up,
then you had to make a
management decision as
to what to do about it.
This reminds me of an
old friend of mine whose
wife washed his
collection of baseballs
that had been signed.
She thought they would
look better if they were
cleaner. Obviously he
was not pleased.
These kinds of issues
never come up before you
get married; you just
never get to the point
where you discuss
anyone’s philosophy on
cheese or collectables.
I suppose you are too
busy discussing other
items with higher
priorities. At least
this was the case when
we got married nearly
forty years ago. We were
concerned over where to
live, how to make a
living and so forth.
As I’ve said before, my
youngest son is getting
married in a few weeks.
His wife to be is living
with us until she moves
into their apartment. I
have overheard several
rather pointed
discussions over ‘his’
stuff. His racquetball
stuff, scuba, skiing,
bowling, fishing,
weights, bicycle, and
his model car
collection. Where is all
of this stuff going and
do you really need it?
Of course he answers in
the affirmative since he
has had all of these
things for any number of
years and doesn’t want
to part with them at
this time. She wants to
give up the rented
storeroom and he thinks
they should keep it for
a while longer. I tend
to stay out of these
conversations. There is
no winning or correct
answer. Let them figure
it out for themselves, I
can’t offer advice on
this one.
I suppose the battle of
the sexes continues
until the day you die. I
have tee shirts that I
treasure and if I’m not
careful I will find them
being used to polish the
furniture. On the other
hand my wife (God love
her) has every birthday
card, Mothers day card
she has ever received
from anyone in boxes
carefully hidden away
under the bed in the
guest bedroom. The box
weighs 200 pounds. Me? I
throw them out as soon
as I get them. Read one
get well card, you’ve
read them all. What’s to
keep?
As I’ve written in the
past, the household
habits of domestic
living have probably
caused the invention and
creation of things which
we cannot live without.
I suspect that some
caveman got tired of
dragging all of that
dinosaur bone furniture
from cave to cave and
the wheel was invented
as a result. I’d bet
cheeses were kept longer
in those days if I had
to guess.
