Lifetime

What I’d like
to see is for someone to be able to tell me if buying something for one
time period or another is feasible or not. 

Let me explain. When you fly a
lot, like I do, you find yourself in airports with hours to do nothing,
but just sit and wait around until your plane leaves. The airlines have
these so-called lounges that you have to pay to join and then you can
relax and get some coffee or use the phones or e-mail to get some
business done while you wait. I never have put a pencil to the cost to
see if they are worth it, but just know it beats sitting in those hard
plastic chairs in the waiting areas for hours and hours. These
memberships cost money. They renew these each and every year or you can
choose to buy a lifetime membership…of course for more money. 

This is not unusual. Lots of
places sell lifetime memberships. My question is, when is it the right
time to buy a lifetime membership? Obviously, the younger you are the
more use you’ll get out of one. So, if you are getting up in years as I
am, shouldn’t you be entitled to a discount since a lifetime for a sixty
year old is a lot less than say a twenty five year old. Why should I
have to pay the same? Look at my picture; I think I should get a
discount from my barber as well. It only takes ten minutes to cut my
hairs. Notice I said hairs, not hair. The bible talks about the hairs on
your head being numbered, mine are named…Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
 

Most insurance companies use a
guy they call an actuary, which is a fancy way of describing someone who
can predict when you are going to die. Nice job…isn’t it? 

Anyway, these folks take into
consideration a lot of factors, your age, health, location, job
description, lifestyle to make a determine how long you have to go
before the old grim reaper comes knocking on your door. Think of them as
a kind of high priced fortuneteller of sorts.

I can’t personally attest to
the accuracy of their predications, but it would certainly be a lot of
help if you could dial into some web site and load in your information
and see if paying for a membership each year for the next ten years is a
better deal than paying for a lifetime membership.  

Of course I suppose a lot this
depends on how long you think you are going to live. Most of us think it
will be forever, but sooner or later we find out we’re wrong. It
generally comes sooner, rather than later. 

Last night I was watching the
national geographic channel and they did a story on how long the sun is
expected to last. They estimate that it will burn out in something like
another six billion years. The last billion or so were pretty drastic
and not pleasant to watch. I had a hard time sleeping worrying about it.
Makes no sense to me either now that I think about it, but you’ve done
it too, so quit laughing.  



This actuary stuff needs to be taught in school so that when you
graduate you have some idea of how to evaluate things to see if they are
a good deal or not. By the time you get to be my age, you find out that
you got smart too late to do anything about it. Like everyone says, “If
I only knew then what I know now.”  

Well, Bunkie you don’t and you
won’t so just shut up and live with it like the rest of us. Don’t buy
ripe bananas if you’re ninety years old, and don’t buy more insurance
than you need when you are twenty. Also, forget about getting a divorce
when you are seventy, if you think that twenty something loves you for
your looks. Get a new mirror and stay at home.   

So the next time someone tries
to sell you some lifetime something or another, stop for a minute and
think about it. Just how long is that?

One more thing, to
consider…when buying a roof for your house that has a lifetime
warranty…be sure and ask…your lifetime or theirs? 

Be good….