Letters from North
America
In
spite of the problem in
the Gulf and the
recession, I have
managed to come up with
a number of comments
which I think might just
bring a smile to your
faces this week. These
are compiled from
information some friends
have sent to me as well
as my own observations
on life in general. I
trust you can identify
with these and have a
laugh or two.
Questions you just can’t
answer:
Why doesn’t Tarzan have
a beard?
Why do we put suits in a
garment bag and put
garments in a suitcase?
What are the handles for
corn on the cob called?
Why do they put holes in
crackers?
Why do we press harder
on a remote control when
we know the batteries
are flat?
Why are there Braille
signs on drive-up ATM’s?
Why do banks charge a
fee on ‘insufficient
funds’ when they know
there is not enough?
Why did Kamikaze pilots
wear helmets?
Why does someone believe
you when you say there
are four billion stars,
but check when you say
the paint is wet?
Why does a round pizza
come in a square box?
Why does the Easter
bunny carry eggs?
Rabbits don’t lay eggs.
Whose idea was it to put
an ‘S’ in the word
‘lisp’?
What is the speed of
darkness?
Why is it that people
say they ‘slept like a
baby’ when babies wake
up every two hours?
If the temperature is
zero outside today and
it’s going to be twice
as cold tomorrow, how
cold will it be?
If the plural of mouse
is mice….why isn’t the
plural of house….hice?
What do you do when you
see an endangered animal
that is eating an
endangered plant?
Do married people live
longer than single ones
or does it only seem
longer?
How is it that we put
man on the moon before
we figured out it would
be a good idea to put
wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go
up tall buildings and
then put money in
binoculars to look at
things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and
wonder…..
How fast do hotcakes
sell?
Do prison buses have
emergency exits?
If laughter is the best
medicine, who’s the
idiot who said they
‘died laughing’?
How come you can kill a
deer and put it up on
your wall. but it’s
illegal to keep one as a
pet?
How far east can you go
before you’re heading
west?
How can something be
"new" and "improved"? if
it’s new, what was it
improving on?
Since bread is square,
then why is sandwich
meat round?
If pro and con are
opposites, wouldn’t the
opposite of progress be
congress?
Is there ever a day that
mattresses are not on
sale?
Who was the first person
to look at a cow and
say, ‘I think I’ll
squeeze these pink
dangly things here, and
drink whatever comes
out?’
Why do toasters always
have a setting so high
that could burn the
toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent
human being would eat?
Why is there a light in
the fridge and not in
the freezer?
Why does Goofy stand
erect while Pluto
remains on all fours?
They’re both dogs !
Why Does Pluto Live in a
dog house, eat dog food,
etc. but Goofy, who is
also a dog, lives in a
condo and drives a car?
If corn oil is made from
corn, and vegetable oil
is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil
made from?
If electricity comes
from electrons, does
morality come from
morons?
Why do the Alphabet song
and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the
same tune?
Stop singing and keep
reading…..
Do illiterate people get
the full effect of
Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that
when you blow in a dog’s
face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take
him on a car ride, he
sticks his head out the
window?
Does pushing the
elevator button more
than once make it arrive
faster?
If ghosts can walk
through walls and glide
down stairs, why don’t
they fall through the
floor?
How come you never see a
billboard being put up
by the highway?
Comments got to
www.pearyperry.com.
Complaints go nowhere.
