Letters from North
America
This
week we all heard or
read about the post
office and their plans
to close offices around
the country and cut
their services. I just
wonder what took them so
long to make this
decision? As I’ve said
before I cannot find
many people who regard
going to the post office
as a pleasant
experience. I know the
one I go to should issue
mirrors to the folks
that work there so we
could see their breath
and determine that they
are still breathing. The
word slow doesn’t do
justice to how they work
at this station.
But I suppose they do
have their good points,
since you can still mail
a letter for about half
a dollar and reasonably
expect it to get there,
sometime. I say sometime
since most of our credit
cards have built in late
fees attached to them so
your payments really
need to be made about 45
days before they become
due in order to insure
that your check gets
there before the due
date. I talked to some
of these companies after
being charged for a
‘late’ payment and I
always get the same
answer…. “If you used
the post office, then
they must be running
late…..again.” It makes
me wonder if my check
really arrived in time
and they just held it
until past the due date
so they could tack on an
extra charge. Who knows?
All I know is I’m sick
and tired of it.
Another thing that puts
a hitch in my git along
is this trend to use
robots to answer the
phone and then direct
your calls. As you know,
these go something like
this…. “Welcome to
United Mega Corp…please
tell me your name.”
“My name is Peary
Perry.”
“Your name is Harry
Kerry? Press one if this
is correct.”
“No, my name is Peary
Perry.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get
that, you say your name
is Mary Jerry?”
This can go on for hours
so I have learned how to
defeat the system, I
merely start saying
words such as …
‘enchilada’ or ‘Paris,
France’ and within
seconds the robot seems
to overload and switches
you to a real, live
operator …which is where
you wanted to go in the
first place. Then you
have to start over with
your name and account
number, but at least you
are on the right track.
What really galls me are
the systems that hang up
on you if they can’t
seem to get you to the
correct department.
“Please try your call
again later.” How late?
Perhaps 3am…is someone
there who cares about my
problem? Probably not.
But never fear, help is
on the way. In another
news item I noticed last
week, scientists at the
Max Planck Institute in
Germany are reporting
that they have
successfully engineered
the genes (not blue
jeans) of mice to allow
them to speak and
understand human voices.
The article doesn’t say
if they understand
English or German, but I
suppose it doesn’t
really matter at this
point. These mice’s (mouses?)
FOXP2 gene has been
swapped out for the
human version. Dr.
Svante Paabo, in whose
laboratory the mouse was
engineered, promised
several years ago that
when the project was
completed, “We will
speak to the mouse.” He
did not promise that the
mouse would say anything
in reply, doubtless
because a great many
genes must have
undergone evolutionary
change to endow people
with the faculty of
language, and the new
mouse was gaining only
one of them. So it is
perhaps surprising that
possession of the human
version of FOXP2 does in
fact change the sounds
that mice use to
communicate with other
mice, as well as other
aspects of brain
function. Obviously this
information and this
research should be of
great interest to both
the US Post Office and
the credit card
companies. Imagine all
of the money they could
save by hiring and
training mice to answer
the phones and do
clerical work. Cheap
labor, limited health
benefits, no retirement
obligations. PETA would
probably establish a
union for them, but
still the overall costs
have to come down over
what is being paid
today. Company provided
food and housing would
certainly be less
expensive.
And who knows, the
service would probably
improve.
