Names
certainly
can be
misleading.
For
example,
you hear
of
someplace
called
the
Grand
Hotel
and you
think to
yourself…”Well
that
must be
grand..”
but when
you
arrive
you find
it might
have
been
grand in
the late
1800’s.
Never
trust a
photograph
you find
on the
internet.
I repeat
never
trust a
photograph
you find
on the
internet.
I’m one
to talk
and
should
follow
my own
advice,
but
often
times I
forget
to do so
and it
gets me
in the
jam I
find
myself
in at
this
moment.
I am in
New York
City for
a
writers
conference
and
located
a
‘grand’
hotel a
few
blocks
down
from the
conference.
No
problem
so far,
rates
were
reasonable,
which
should
have
been my
first
clue and
they had
plenty
of rooms
available
for the
dates I
selected.
This
should
have
been my
second
clue.
I arrive
at noon.
Their
desk
manager
tells me
that I
cannot
check in
until
three in
the
afternoon
since
housekeeping
doesn’t
get
finished
until
that
time. So
I cool
my heels
in the
lobby
watching
the
house
detectives
turn the
hookers
away
from the
elevators
as they
arrive,
this
should
have
been my
third
strike
and I’m
out of
there
clue.
But I’m
stuck
with my
prepaid
reservation,
so here
is where
I’ll be
for the
next
couple
of days.
Three
hours
passes
and I
finally
get the
key. I’m
so glad
I opted
for the
executive
size
room
instead
of the
deluxe,
even
though
it cost
another
twenty
bucks a
night.
Once I
open the
door, I
shudder
to think
what
size I
missed
by
taking
the
upgrade.
If I was
about
four
inches
taller,
then I
could
touch
all four
walls of
my
‘executive’
room at
the same
time. I
wonder
what the
‘deluxe’
one
looks
like.
This
room is
so small
that if
I sit in
the
chair at
the
desk,
then I
cannot
open the
door to
the
room. If
I were
to fall
out of
bed, I
guess
I’d get
stuck
in-between
the bed
and the
wall. In
addition
to the
room
size,
they are
in the
process
of
remodeling
the
hotel. I
always
seem to
find
these.
Of
course I
never
get one
of the
rooms
that
have
actually
been
remodeled;
I only
get the
ones on
the
floors
where
the
remodeling
is
actually
taking
place. I
choose
to see
this as
a plus
since it
allows
me to
keep up
with the
latest
trends
in
construction.
For
example
in the
room
next to
me is a
new high
velocity
jack
hammer
which I
had
never
seen or
heard
before
this
trip. If
I had
gotten a
better
room in
a better
hotel, I
might
have
missed
it
altogether.
Fortunately
all of
the
workers
are
union so
they do
quit
each
afternoon
at five.
About
the time
the
police
sirens
start.
I don’t
want you
to get
the idea
that I’m
cramped
in here,
but
listen
to this.
When I
arrived,
I
discovered
that I
had not
packed
any
spare
trousers.
I left
the
hotel in
search
of
something
a man of
my age
might be
able to
wear. An
hour
later I
have
some of
the
latest
hip-hop
pants
you’ve
ever
seen…at
least
they
were on
sale.
Now what
I have
to do is
to iron
them so
they
look
half way
presentable.
The only
problem
is the
ironing
board is
in the
closet.
I have
to move
the
chair so
I can
open the
closet
door.
Then I
drag the
board
out, but
wait….
There
isn’t
any room
to set
it up. I
finally
decide
to lay
it on
top of
the sink
in the
bathroom
since I
need the
electrical
plug
that
powers
up the
hair
dryer.
No
problem
so far,
I think
I’m
smarter
than the
average
rabbit.
Now I
find
that the
cord to
the iron
is about
two feet
long and
won’t
reach
from one
end of
the
board to
the
other.
So I can
either
move the
pants
all over
the
place or
plaster
them up
on the
wall and
iron
them
from
there. I
wish I
had a
video of
this to
show the
folks
back
home.
No
problem,
I got it
done….when
in Rome
or New
York…just
do as
the
locals
do. Not
that
this
always
makes
any
sense,
but it
does
keep you
from
going
insane.
