Letters From North
America by Peary Perry
I really
wish someone would do a
movie or expose on a
conspiracy theory, which
has gone unnoticed in
this country.
Think about this….years
ago you bought a record…
it was made out of
vinyl….this was called a
78RPM….then THEY
switched us to a
45RPM…then once we got
comfortable with this
medium…THEY changed it
to a 33RPM…making us
(consumers) have to buy
machinery to handle the
new technology each and
every time the formats
were changed.
Now, once vinyl records
went out of date, THEY
came along with tapes,
first these were on
large reels, then THEY
redesigned them so the
large tapes didn’t work
and we had to buy eight
tracks….this lasted
about five years….then
THEY redesigned the
eight tracks (which we
still have in our
garages…. ready to hear
Abba in all their glory)
and gave us cassettes.
Now you can’t find a
cassette player anywhere
that works. So once you
build up an inventory of
new tapes, records,
cassettes or whatever,
then what happens? You
got it…THEY change
everything out again to
CD’s and we start all
over again.
Notice that each and
every upgrade or change
in technology requires a
new piece of machinery,
which I am sure THEY own
the rights to. Remember
when VHS tapes first
came out, some of us
bought VHS players,
others of us bought Beta
players. Then we waited
for years to see which
one would be the chosen
instrument of the
future. Obviously the
VHS owners won, but not
for long since the VHS
players were replaced by
DVD players, which are
probably manufactured by
the same people who sold
us the VHS tapes in the
first place.
Tell me there isn’t
something fishy going on
here. This rivals the
JFK conspiracy as far as
I’m concerned.
Same with computers. You
buy one and before you
get it home and get it
unpacked, it’s obsolete.
You call the tech center
for support on how to
operate it and they just
tell you that “they’re
sorry, but we don’t
service that unit any
longer since it was
replaced last week.”
That’s the story you get
if you’re able to
understand the guy while
he’s eating his curry
lunch in India.
Now comes the biggest
part of my
story…printers. Last
week I started to buy
one for my wife’s
computer. I had screwed
hers up by pulling a
piece of paper out of it
while it was printing.
This is a no-no. Do not
do it. Anyway, since she
had about $200 in print
cartridges left, I
thought I’d be smart and
buy another printer,
which used the same
ones.
No fool me.
Well, as you might guess
this turned out to be
wrong since yes, they
were the same ones, but
‘the older model’
without the ‘electronic
signatures?’installed on
them. So, they were
worthless to any new
printer.
Been in office supply
store lately? The
printer cartridge
section is the largest
in the place. It
practically takes up one
whole wall. If you don’t
have your cartridge
number with you, you can
either look for about a
2 hour wait or you can
forget it. There is no
way you are going to be
able to just stroll in
there and grab one off
the shelf because it
‘looks’ like the right
one.
Forget that noise.
No, you better have the
proper codes or you’re
out of the park. And by
the way those codes are
tougher to figure than
the Dewey decimal
system. You can walk
over (I’ve done this)
and grab up five that
‘look’ like the one you
want. You better think
about this because
unless it just happens
to be the right number
it won’t work when you
get it home. I know this
to be a fact.
Oh yes, and one more
thing….once you cut
through that atomic
plastic wrapper that
encapsulates these
things, they belong to
you. You cannot return
them for credit…they are
yours forever. THEY
(those people again)
have made it impossible
for you to open the
package and impossible
to return it once it has
been opened. So these
are destined to be stuck
in a drawer waiting for
you to buy another
printer whenever THEY
tell you that your old
one (6 months max) is
worn out and you need
the latest one.
Incidentally I heard
those wrappers were made
out of some kind of
indestructible material
left over from the old
atom bomb test sites.
This is just a rumor,
but it might be true.
You can’t buy just a
printer any longer, no
you have to have one
that scans, copies,
prints, does photos,
accepts camera cards,
enlarges, minimizes, and
cleans your windows.
I was just kidding about
the windows; they don’t
do that…yet.
But stick around ..if
THEY can figure out how
to fix it so we have to
buy one…then we’ll have
to get one, won’t we?
Anyone want some old
Barry Manilow eight
tracks? Come and get
‘em. All are welcome
except the THEY people….
