I
don’t know about
you, but going to a
funeral and meeting
someone you haven’t
seen in a number of
years and saying…
“It’s so good to see
you..” doesn’t seem
quite right to
me…does it to you?
But isn’t that what
we do? We go to
funerals to honor
the departed person
and folks stand
around for hours and
share tales and
stories about their
common experiences.
Some laugh, some cry
but for the most
part it is a moving
experience and one
we all participate
in at some time or
another.
Let’s say for a
moment that you were
the departed person,
don’t you just wish
you had the
opportunity to be
present when a group
of your friends,
relatives, and other
significant members
of your life were
gathered in one
place at one time to
focus upon you? They
came to this event
just because of you.
The only person (and
he was fictional)
that I can recall
was Tom Sawyer, who
attended his own
funeral, I remember
his description of
it very well, as I
imagine most of you
do.
Mark Twain wrote
this: “There was a
rustle in the
gallery, which
nobody noticed; a
moment later the
church door creaked;
the minister raised
his streaming eyes
above his
handkerchief, and
stood transfixed!
First one and then
another pair of eyes
followed the
minister’s, and then
almost with one
impulse the
congregation rose
and stared while the
three dead boys came
marching up the
aisle, Tom in the
lead, Joe next, and
Huck, a ruin of
drooping rags,
sneaking sheepishly
in the rear! They
had been hid in the
unused gallery
listening to their
own funeral.”
Well, of course this
would be nice but
not very practical.
Most of us share
experiences in
groups. We go to
weddings as friends
or relatives of the
bride or groom. We
go to family
reunions as members
of a family. We go
to school reunions
as members of one
certain class or
another. But there
aren’t too many
occasions where you
can assemble friends
and family from your
entire life in one
room for the same
event.
I did this past
Saturday.
Many of you may know
that for the past
couple of years I
have been going back
to college. I only
did two years and
never got a degree
when I was going way
back in 1967. That’s
over forty one years
ago. I decided to go
back and finish and
graduated last
Saturday. My kids
all wanted to know
why a degree was so
important at this
stage in my life and
I told them it was
for them more than
for me. I wanted
them to be able to
say to their kids
and grand kids that
it was never too
late to go to
school. If your
grandfather can do
it at 65, so can
you.
So, I graduated and
we had a party. As I
looked around the
room it dawned on me
that the only time
you get to see this
many people from
every stage of your
life is when they
have your funeral.
And you don’t get to
enjoy it.
Well, I can’t begin
to tell you how much
it meant to me to
see friends and
family as well as
folks I work with
all in the same room
having a good time
and I didn’t have to
be dead to make this
happen. Trust me
this was a rare and
precious occasion
which I will cherish
for the rest of my
life.
My family was there
as well as friends
of mine scattered
throughout the past
forty, fifty and
sixty years. All had
stories to tell and
experiences to
share. I loved every
minute of it.
Life goes by so fast
and the years get
away from us before
we know it. I detest
meeting people at
funerals saying
stupid inane things
like we need to get
together more often.
Certainly not at
funerals. But the
truth is, we do need
to get together more
often. We need
laughter and shared
experiences, we need
conversation, we
need dialog and we
need hugs and kisses
and photos of kids
and grandkids, but
we need to be alive
to do all of these
things.
I’m alive and I plan
on getting out and
seeing some of those
folks who came to
see me last weekend.
We need more
memories of people
while they are
alive, not when they
die, by then it’s
too late.
Tempus fugit.
