Letters from North
America
Our
youngest son is getting
married in a few weeks.
He and his bride to be
have picked out an
apartment and she will
move into it this coming
weekend. She is a lovely
young woman and it will
be great to have another
sweet daughter in law in
our family. We will now
have three, only one
more to go .
The bride to be was
moving here on Monday
and will be living with
us for a week or so
before she gets into
their new apartment. As
you might recall, I have
been going stir crazy
having to stay at home
these past couple of
weeks after having
undergone a total knee
replacement, so I was in
bed reading Sunday night
when my son came into
the room to check on me.
He has been living with
us for the past couple
of months while waiting
for the wedding.
As he stood in the
doorway I had this
flashback to the
hospital where he was
born thirty three years
ago. It seemed like only
yesterday and now here
he is a grown man about
to become a husband. I
called him into the room
and he sat on the bed
and we just talked for
about an hour. I told
him this was the last
night he would truly be
my boy. He seemed
surprised at my comment,
and assured me that he
wasn’t going any place
and that he and his wife
were going to live
fairly close and we
would still see each
other.
I knew all of this but
it still isn’t the same,
after Monday he really
belongs to the woman he
is engaged to, and not
to his mother and me.
I’m not certain that he
understood all of what I
was saying, but the
bottom line was that he
was getting ready to
step from one phase of
his life into another.
Life goes on and that’s
as it should be. He’ll
be in a better position
to understand once he
has children and they
are preparing to leave
home and get married.
You want your kids to
grow up and mature on
the one hand and then on
the other you want them
to stay kids and for
your family to all be
together. Time passes by
so quickly. Too quickly
if you ask me. I for one
am not anxious to see
them leave and face the
realities of adult life
and its stress and
strains. I probably
would have made a great
farmer in the 1800’s if
I could have had my
whole family living and
working together in the
same place. As it is
now, two sons live close
and the other two live
within a couple of hours
from us, so it isn’t as
if they are living on
the other side of the
world. But I know and
you know that once they
get married, different
priorities come into
play. Where to have
Christmas? Whose house
for Thanksgiving? Where
do we go for Mothers day
and Fathers Day?
Decisions that need to
be made that weren’t
required in the years
before.
While we’re sitting
there, he looks over and
me and says that he
thinks this might be the
best time for ‘the
talk’. As bad as my knee
hurt, I wanted to run
out of the room and find
some place to hide to
avoid having to discuss
sex with him. First off
I’ve never had ‘the
talk’ with any of my
sons…..I don’t know
where to start and what
to say. Also I figure
that when they reach
twenty or thirty they
should know about this
stuff and I should not
have to explain it to
them.
He could see my obvious
discomfort by the
expression on my face
and started laughing and
smiling….which I didn’t
find amusing at all. Not
seriously.
Anyway, I went to the
computer later on that
evening and googled up
‘Father-Son Sex Talk’
and was surprised that
there seemed to be a
lack of information
which a father could
pass along to his sons
if needed. I would think
something like “Sex for
Dummies” of “The Idiots
Guide to Sex” would be a
big hit. I have one more
son to get married off;
I might get to work on
writing one in the next
few months. Then again,
I might not.
