Funnypapers






Letters from North
America


Usually
sometime during the
week, I’ll generally
observe something that
strikes me as odd or
unusual and this gives
me enough fodder to
compose this column.
This week I was either
dull, slow or both since
here it is Sunday and I
find myself sitting here
trying to figure out
what the heck this
column should be about.
Fortunately I keep a
little list of things
that I think might be
worth developing into
something worthwhile to
read. So, the one that
happens to hit me today
is about comic strips.
You know the ones in the
newspaper. Now, I will
not get into my opinion
about what I think of
today’s ‘funny’ papers.
I for one don’t think
too many of them today
are all that humorous,
but then again that’s
only my opinion, for
what it’s worth. But
then again what do I
know?



Anyway, the comics seem
to in three distinct
groups. One is truly
light and humorous.
Another group is very
deep and socially
minded. And the final
are the fantasy
features. Now, what I’d
like to discuss today
are those fantasy
features. You know those
that have Superman,
Spiderman and the like
as the main action
heroes. I know, I know,
these are only cartoons,
but still if you think
about it….these do
stretch common sense
don’t they? For example.
Is Lois lane so dense
that she can’t figure
out that she never sees
Clark Kent and Superman
at the same time? It’s
either one or the other,
but not both. This has
always puzzled me from
the start. I remember
reading this stuff when
I was a kid years ago.
You’d think by now that
she would wise up to the
fact that if she is out
to dinner with old Clark
and some bad disaster
arises that requires
Superman’s attention,
Clark is heading out the
door for some weird
reason or another. By
now, she should have put
two and two together and
get suspicious when
Clark had to leave with
another upset stomach.
After all they have
hospitals and doctors
who’ll give out medicine
for constant acid
reflux. I’d call 40
years a constant
problem, wouldn’t you?
Another thing, old Lois
works for a newspaper
doesn’t she? Well, it
would appear that she
isn’t really astute if
she can’t see that each
night she is out on a
date with Clark, who
disappears, then the
next day the paper
writes about some
terrific superhuman feat
that Superman performed.



I haven’t watched any of
the Superman movies or
tv shows, so maybe all
of this has been taken
care of. My knowledge is
limited to just the
comic strip. Where does
Superman keep his cape?
If I tried to fold up a
cape that size and wear
it under my shirt and
suit coat, it’d stick
out like a sore thumb.
Besides isn’t it awfully
hot? Everyone would look
at me and ask…. “Why do
you wear your coat all
of the time?” and “Hey,
Peary what’s under your
shirt? “ Especially
since Superman wears
bright red and blue
stuff. Not things you
can hide under a white
shirt. Unless the shirt
is about 2 inches thick.
When have you ever seen
Superman wash that
outfit? Never. In over
50 years, I’ve never
seen him take the thing
into the cleaners or put
it in a washing machine.
Well, enough about him.
Just look at Spiderman.
He lives in an apartment
in downtown somewhere.
Now I know that folks in
big metropolitan cities
don’t like to get
involved in other
people’s affairs, but
this is ridiculous.
Spidey is seen leaping
out of his apartment
window at all hours of
the day and night in his
uniform and no one
notices or says
anything? Give me a
break. He has these web
things that he sprays on
to walls to get him from
one point to another. No
one sees those and
follows them back to
where he lives? Get
real. Now, he does have
a girl friend, so I
guess he does get his
laundry taken care of
from time to time, but
what keeps her from
telling her story? She’s
a major asset for the
talk shows. The View
would love to get their
hands on her. She’d be
an instant star. “I
lived with a Spider.” Or
“My son’s father was a
real spider.” They could
even do…”I found myself
in his web…” I think
I’ll stop about here and
start to work on what I
want to write about next
week. This has gone on
too long and isn’t
healthy for me. Have a
good week. As I have
always said…send your
good comments and story
suggestions to me at
www.pearyperry.com. Send
all of your complaints
and negative or nasty
comments to me in care
of Dr. Pepper, general
delivery, Waco, TX. I
have to have a urine
test next week for my
upcoming knee surgery
and I’m starting to
study for it tonight.



Keep those cards and
letters coming….I’ll
stop by the post office
and see if there is any
mail for me. Maybe I’ll
wear a cape just to see
if anyone will notice. I
bet they don’t.