Candles

Once the
country gets out of the war mode and things get back to a
sense of normalcy; I’d like for the Congress to impanel one
of those congressional investigative hearings they seem to
run at the drop of a hat.



This time I’d like to have our august congressmen and women
look into the conspiracy behind the obvious oil cartels and
the blooming plant industry. I believe it’s been going on
for years.



Yes, friends I’m here to tell you that I believe I have
uncovered more than you ever want to know about this obvious
plot to undermine our national economy and my personal
sanity. Just sit back and hear me out for a few moments
while I explain.



All of us, no matter who we are or where we live…like
flowers, don’t we? We buy them for our houses, apartments,
offices, weekend places…. you name it and we’re buying them
to brighten up our lives. We buy them for places we don’t
even own. Look at where you work, how many of the folks
around you have some sort of blooming plant stuck in their
office? Nearly everyone. This is a giant industry.



Now, if you’re like me you go to some nursery or super
hardware store and walk the aisles in search of that new and
unusual plant to spice up either your home or office. These
places have thousands upon thousands of plants. All in
perfect condition, all blooming their little hearts out. You
find it difficult to decide which ones to choose, they all
look so beautiful. Some are stuck over in a corner and you
think to yourself…”I like that one, I think I’ll buy it, and
take it home where it’ll have some love and attention.” So,
you make your way through the checkout lines, take your new
purchase home and lovingly put it in a new pot, watering it
carefully and adding some plant food. Then you set back and
wait, just knowing in your heart that this new addition to
your life is going to appreciate your efforts and just bud
like crazy and then produce the most spectacular flowers for
all to see and admire. Then you can kind of grin and shuffle
your foot and say something profound like…”Ah, shucks, it
wasn’t hard…”



Admit it, that’s what you want to happen…. but does it? No,
of course not. Once you leave the confines of the store the
plant or flower starts on a death spiral. Circling faster
and faster towards a stage of complete and total wilt. In
the space of about twenty-four hours your lovely beautiful
plant or flower has managed to die before your very eyes in
spite of all of your best efforts. Therefore what do you do?
You stubbornly trudge back to the store and then what? Well
you buy some more. Thinking all the time that the last ones
were somehow defective and the new ones will do better.
They’ll thank you this time.



Does this ever happen?



Not in your lifetime.



Which leads me to my new theory. After you have repeated
this for the umpteenth time, you finally give up and do
what? Yes, friends this is where you become the unwitting
victim of the OPEC cartel. You swear off of real flowers and
plants and you succumb to what? Yes, plastic ones that will
never wilt or die.



Now, hold on …just a short way to go before I finish. What
is the basic product that makes up plastic…you guessed
it…oil, of course. So, the more plastic we want for the
flowers that have died, the more oil we need and so on and
so on. Those crafty OPEC members are smart, they know we’ll
eventually give up trying to coax blooms out of flowers and
plants that are probably genetically engineered to start
dying after they leave the store. Big oil is big money. They
want us to give up and buy plastic. I bet they started
thinking about these years ago. This is not something I’ve
made up. My friends all tell me they’ve had the same
experience. Most of the stuff they buy in the stores dies
soon after they bring it home.



How much more proof do we need?



I strongly think a congressional committee should look into
this as soon as possible, don’t you? I mean, we’re wasting
time. Those roses I bought just last week have given up the
ghost this afternoon. This is a travesty being played out on
all of us. We have rights. Don’t we?