Let me start this week off with an apology to those of you who read my column. For the past several years I have been trying to hold on to a business enterprise that I thought was going to make it, but it didn’t. As hard as I tried to get the it all together and make it turn out right, in the end it just wasn’t possible and I had to shut it down a couple of weeks ago.

So, why the need for an apology’simple, since I am now unemployed, retired or whatever you want to call me, I have had more time to sit and think about my personal behavior over these past 36 or so months. I have started to realize that my devotion to this column, my family and my friends suffered due to my concern over my business. In moving my office back to my house, I had a chance to look over some of the columns I have written in the last couple of years. I can look at these and tell when I have been under a lot of stress and strain. It shows, perhaps not to you, but it does to me. I hope it doesn’t show to you, but if it did then this is why I am offering an apology.

Its very difficult to explain how my mind has been working for the past couple of years. Its only when I have stopped for the last couple of weeks that I have had a chance to see what I was doing to my family and myself. I have always been a hard charger. I multi task like crazy and have always thought that doing so was the only way things got done.

During the past couple of weeks I have come to the conclusion that my mind has been operating much like a CD changer. Let me describe it this way. When I am in the room or at dinner with my family, I am on track #1, but my mind keeps switching to the other tracks and thinking of other things. Thus, it seems like I am never quite what you might call, in the moment. I may be there physically, but not there mentally. Does this make sense’during the past few weeks since I closed the business, I have described this to a number of people. Men in particular seem to identify with what I am saying and the women seem to be more of the in the moment type of mentalities. Most women I have spoken to admit that they know their husbands or boyfriends aren’t really there (mentally) all of the time when there is a discussion taking place. I didn’t do any type of study to determine what the ages or length of their relationships were so I cant comment on whether on not that has anything to do with it or not.

I can tell you that the men I have discussed this with have told me that they are aware of this situation and have often thought about what to do and how to stop this from happening. Most of them, like myself, have laughed at the concept of stop to smell the roses but as we get older the time to do so begins to get evaporate until it is often too late.

So, what is the solution to all of this’simple, I am going to do nothing until after the first of next year. I have no clue as to what I want to do to make a living for the next phase in my life, but I know that something will come along, it always has. I want some time to just let my brain heal. I want to enjoy, really enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas with my friends and my family. I want to be there physically as well as mentally to put up a Christmas tree and I want to send out cards well before December 24th or later.

I also want to spend more time thinking about what I put in these weekly columns that you read so that it will have some substance and may make you think about some concept or give you a chuckle. You deserve this and I am determined to give it to you.

Thanks for reading my stuff; I promise to make it better.