“Not remodeled mind you, updated. Whatever that means …”

Excuse me if some of the columns I’ve written these past few weeks seem to ramble or don’t make a lot of sense. As I have told you I am living under somewhat of a strain with our house being ‘ updated. Not remodeled, mind you, updated. Whatever that means.


I normally carry a pad and pen with me wherever I go, so that I can jot down column ideas as they pop into my head or as I see something worthwhile to write about. Did I just use the word ‘ normal’ We are now into our 4th week in the ‘ updating’ process and nothing in my life seems normal at this time. I can’t find anything. I am certain in my previous lives I was never a nomad since I am such a creature of habit; I get discombulated if my stuff isn’t where I left it. My lovely wife loses her glasses on an hourly basis. I don’t. I know where mine are at all times. I am a neat and orderly person. A habit that drives some folks to drink. Not my wife, but it might one day if I don’t lighten up.


Anyway, I can’t find my normal pad with my notes. All I have is an envelope from some company or organization wanting to know what my opinion is on our immigration policy. Somehow I don’t think it matters what my opinion is, I think they are more interested in the amount of money they want me to send to help them in their ‘desperate fight. I made the mistake of sending someone some money for something or another a few months ago, and purposely misspelled my name to read Peter instead of Peary. I must get 3-5 e-mail solicitations a day for one cause or another. It makes you wish you could donate without having to identify yourself.


On this immigration questionnaire envelope I find I have written the words…’ birds’ , ‘ fish’ and ‘ March of the Penguins.  I am wracking my feeble brain to try and make sense of what I was trying to opine upon. After another cup of coffee, it finally hits me. We recently went to see the movie called…’ March of the Penguins. If it comes to your neighborhood, I’d highly recommend you go and see it. No car crashes, no evil overlord, no nude (well, the penguins are naked) steamy love scenes or multiple murders. That is unless you call a hawk swooping down on a luckless penguin, murder. Otherwise, the film is a great documentary about how penguins at the South Pole care for their young. Very entertaining to watch. I would highly recommend this film. There isn’t much of a plot, so I don’t think telling you some facts will destroy the story for you. It isn’t like a mystery or drama.


The entire penguin population walks over 70 miles inland from the ocean to their nesting areas so they can lay their eggs and be safe from predators. However, the film dramatically points out that after the female penguin lays her egg, she leaves it with the father penguin. He carefully balances it on his feet and has to keep it warm so it won’t freeze. Freezing the egg is a bad thing and tends to make the mother penguin very upset with the father. Then the female makes a 70-mile trek back to the sea to get some grub to feed the family. As she starts back to the colony, the eggs start to hatch and everyone is hungry waiting for mama to show up from the store with the goodies. You can imagine how long it takes a penguin with short strides to walk 70 miles each way. I’ll leave the rest up to you to see how this turns out. A side note of interest, somehow the female penguin can tell who the father is and returns eagerly to see her newly hatched chick. Some of the fathers have lost their charges or allowed the egg to roll out from their feet and freeze. These father penguins try to blend in with the rest of the population, but get caught by the distraught mothers. One can only imagine what she has to say about his stupidity after having given birth and then walking 140 miles roundtrip to the store and back. My wife would be plenty hacked, I can tell you that for sure.


What is surprising to me is that there hasn’t been some do gooder organization sending out solicitations for donations to send planeloads of fish to the patiently waiting penguins and little penguins. I mean we all get requests to save the whales, the dolphins, tuna, the cats, the sea lions, the pandas, various birds, homeless dogs and who knows what else. But I haven’t seen any letters asking me to donate for a fish airlift to the South Pole. It probably doesn’t matter that these birds have been doing very well without our help for thousands of years and don’t need us to assist in their annual mating and birthing schedule.


How long will it be before someone latches onto the idea that these poor defenseless creatures can’t make it another year without our human intervention’   I suppose it’s just a matter of time’ here comes the mail now, I’ll see what’s in there today.