After nearly twenty months we have finally sold our home and will be moving in a week or so. I say a week or so, because it isn’t me that is in charge of this move. It’s my wife. The responsibility is on her shoulders, hers alone.

The other morning, I was wandering around the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee and looking at the collection of boxes, paper, tape and bubble wrap. I made a comment to my wife and told her that I didn’t seem to find any rhyme or reason to her method of packing all of our stuff. It looked to me as if she was working in all of the rooms at one time. My method would be to do one room and then go to another.

She placed her hands on her hips (a sign I have tried to avoid ) and told me in very low and pleasant tones that it had been her that had moved us at any time in the past and that she knew what she was doing and I should just stay out of the process. In other words, go away and let me do this. I am woman’ I am in charge. Hear me roar.

We’ve been together coming up on thirty-eight years. I know the hands on the hips stance and have learned that it generally does not bring happy tidings. I also know that she is correct in saying that it has been her that has supervised our previous moves. I must have momentarily lost my mind when I questioned her packing style and methods. I could plead insanity and would certainly win in a court of law.

I suppose my moment of temporary insanity occurred when I started thinking about all of the stuff we have to move. Years ago, I would just throw most of it away, but with the advent of E-Bay and Craigslist, you don’t want to do that any longer. People will pay good money for some of the things you used to sit out by the curb and pray the trash guys will load up. There’s gold in that thar trash.

So, I’ll stay out of her way and we’ll get moved and then I’ll try and sell what we don’t want or can’t use once we get where we are going. Makes sense to me.

One thing I do know, men should be aware of their limitations and not try and attempt functions beyond their abilities. For example, I don’t think a man should ever give birth to a child. Men are just not built for this and should never attempt to do it under any circumstances. I feel exactly the same about changing diapers.

Men are good at things such as football, rugby, baseball, auto repair and hunting, but they should not involve themselves in activities which are the domain of the female sex. Moving from one house to another is clearly well beyond my personal capabilities. I was trying to put together some boxes for my wife this weekend and did not manage to do them the way she does. So, I have failed box making. My personal self esteem was lowered, but I know that somehow I’ll manage to get over it. Obviously the learning curve is just too steep for me to attempt at this late in the day. I have to admit that I’ m completely over my head on this project. When it comes to the operation of the tape machine, I’ m all thumbs and cannot seem to get the thing to work like she does. I’ m in awe of her prowess and box making ability. You go girl..

No, I think my role is to just stand back and observe her methods. Perhaps throw in some words of encouragement and bring home some take out food from the place down the road. For me and certainly for millions of other men like me, this is hard for us to do. To just stand idly by and do nothing makes us feel, well.useless. But what can we do’ By the time we get up to speed on the mysteries of packing and moving, it’ll be too late. I suppose the best we can do is to just swallow our pride and watch in awe how the process moves along.

As much as I hate it, I’ll just go to work and keep out of her way while she continues to perform this incredible task. I love her pioneer spirit as she effortlessly wraps the dishes and breakables. I could have signed her up for a wagon train to California when the gold rush was going on and she would have handled it with ease.

No, I think I’ m totally out of my league here and should just keep my mouth shut and be quiet, if I know what’s good for me.