A few weeks back I wrote about a grocery store chain…

A few weeks back I wrote an article about a grocery chain refusing to sell live lobsters as they were under pressure from PETA to stop this’ barbaric’ practice. Seems PETA takes the position that killing a lobster is ‘ inhuman’ and to be avoided at all costs.

I think their argument goes along the line that lobsters (also known as roaches of the sea) certainly feel pain and should be spared the brutality of boiling them in hot water. I made the point that everything we eat was alive at one point in time. I’ m sorry to report that all of those tuna fish sandwiches and hamburgers are the result of some animal passing on to the big pasture in the sky. As they say about bacon and eggs, the pig is committed but the chicken is only involved.

I proposed that if we were left to eat only the things that had no feeling, I think that left us with nothing but rocks.

As a result of my insensitivity, I received a number of e-mails from kind folks such as this lady:

‘ I am shocked by your insensitivity and barbarianism. I am not associated with PETA, but the suggestion of eating family pets has crossed the line. I happen to have a pet rock (she has been with our family for about 30 years now and is still going strong, no signs of needing to send her out to pasture or fill someone’s rock burger). I am offended at your article suggesting that my beloved pet rock doesn’t have feelings. She is a dear pet that is extremely well behaved with a mellow personality and does not deserve to be on any menu.’

I had completely forgotten about pet rocks. I have not thought about them for years and guess I had just figured they had all died out by now, but apparently not. Please forgive me if I have offended you by my oversight. I can only plead ignorance.

I wrote the lady making the above mentioned comment and apologized to her if I had offended her. I told her that I had also been contacted by some folks who had pet trees and pet peeves. I have yet to find out exactly what a pet peeve is, but a lot of people must have them since I heard from a number of folks who started off by telling me that ‘ one of my pet peeves’ is such and such. I’ m not certain I quite understand their meaning, so I’ll have to do some more research on this one and get back to you at a later date.

Since my article appeared some people wrote me to tell me that they agreed with me on the feelings of carrots and flowers. One woman in Oklahoma wrote and said that she does her housework in the nude and sings to her flowers as she cleans. She went on to say that they appear to listen to her since they turn their little heads toward the sound. It made me think they might have been just sneaking a peek and not hearing her at all. I started to ask her to send me her photo but then figured I’d mess up and be more insensitive if I didn’t say the right thing after I saw what she looked like.

You know I seem to recall that the guy who dreamed up the pet rock in 1975 made several million bucks from his idea. I checked Google and there is still a number of web sites devoted to pet rocks along with a retirement home to send your rock if it is causing you trouble or you think it needs a rest. I suppose there is a penal institution somewhere for it if it is convicted.

I’d bet 85% of the people today have never heard of a pet rock..now might be the time to bring them back’ you could always keep one on hand in case you need a snack.

I’ m sorry; I just couldn’t resist that one’don’t forget to check out my new book Manuel Muldoon.’