Internet Good

You have always heard me say that I thought the internet was a good thing.

I should amend that to say If used properly.’

As far as a source for references, I would be hard pressed to tell you where else to look for any type of research. I am amazed at what you can find by just typing in something you are interested in learning about. And then in a few seconds have a huge amount of information about the subject in question. I know that twenty years ago you would have been hard pressed to find out information that is at your fingertips today.

However..there is also the bad side of the internet. I for one am tired of receiving e-mails from people I do not know, nor will ever know who want to enlarge certain parts of my body. Thank you very much, but this is something I wish to buy from you.

Several times a week I get a letter from some bank that I do not use, telling me that my account is in jeopardy and that I am about to be cut off from using this account (which I do not have) and that I need to enter certain numbers and passwords into a form so that everything will be put back in order. I am certain they have me confused with someone, but on the other hand perhaps I have a large amount of money setting in some bank somewhere that I have forgotten about’ It could happen. Not in my lifetime.

Then at least twice a week some kindly soul in Nigeria or elsewhere has determined that I am the long lost descendant of their recently deceased relative and they need to know where to send the 25 million or so they are holding in my name. In this case all I have to do is to fill out one of their forms and give them certain passwords and personal information in order for the money to be transmitted to me. I can’t remember having any long lost relatives in Nigeria or any other parts of the world, so I may have to think about this one. It could happen. Never.

I don’t know about you, but then there is the Irish, Canadian, Polish lottery that I have won even though I didn’t buy a ticket. These folks are entirely too generous. I have not purchased a ticket, but somehow they have determined that their ‘ computer’selected me to be the winner of 10, 15, 20 or 25 million dollars. All I have to do is fill out one of their forms and give them some passwords and other personal information and my newly won cash will be on its way to me. I don’t know about this, but then again ‘ it could happen. Forget about it.

And while I’ m at it, I’d like to thank the 5 or 10 nice people a day who send me ‘ confidential’ tips of stocks that are about to climb through the roof. I probably have missed out on several large fortunes due to my hesitation. For fun, I have tracked several of these and find that you people need to be a little more attentive about your timing. I am a busy person and never get much of a chance to look at these on the day you send them to me. I always look a day or so later and have found that the highest day on record is the morning you sent out the alert, and the stocks dropped like a rock afterwards. I appreciate your kindness, whoever you are, but could you get these to me a few days in advance of the big sell offs’

And finally..those of you who think I need a job.I appreciate your interest such as this offer I received a few moments ago, while writing this column:

WHAT I NEED YOU FOR’

At this point, I will be glad if you could work with me as my representative in your country. You will be working as my payment assistant in charge of collecting the Funds from my Associates. Since they will be making the payments from of bank transfers/Check to you in your country, you will be collecting this payments and cashing them on my behalf. On agreement to been my representative, you will receive a commission of 10% of whatever amount of payment you receive from my associates.

JOB DESCRIPTION’

1. Receive payments from My Clients/Associates through bank transfers or check.

2. Cash the Payments at your Bank.

3. Deduct 10% which will be your commission/percentage on Payment processed.

4. You are to remit the balance via Money Gram or Western Union Money Transfer according to my instruction.

HOW MUCH WILL YOU EARN’

10% from each transaction! Fore instance: On receiving $ 80,000 Pounds on my behalf, you will cash the payment and keep 10% to yourselves before remitting the balance! At the beginning your commission will equal 10%, though later it will increase up to 15%!

I appreciate the fact that you people don’t know about spell check. It makes it easier for me to delete your message when I see words and phrases as underlined above.

What scares me is the thought that someone actually believes in these and thinks they will get some money. Remember’ if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.