Our youngest son is getting married in a few weeks. He and his bride to be have picked out an apartment and she will move into it this coming weekend. She is a lovely young woman and it will be great to have another sweet daughter in law in our family. We will now have three, only one more to go .
The bride to be was moving here on Monday and will be living with us for a week or so before she gets into their new apartment. As you might recall, I have been going stir crazy having to stay at home these past couple of weeks after having undergone a total knee replacement, so I was in bed reading Sunday night when my son came into the room to check on me. He has been living with us for the past couple of months while waiting for the wedding.
As he stood in the doorway I had this flashback to the hospital where he was born thirty three years ago. It seemed like only yesterday and now here he is a grown man about to become a husband. I called him into the room and he sat on the bed and we just talked for about an hour. I told him this was the last night he would truly be my boy. He seemed surprised at my comment, and assured me that he wasn’t going any place and that he and his wife were going to live fairly close and we would still see each other.
I knew all of this but it still isn’t the same, after Monday he really belongs to the woman he is engaged to, and not to his mother and me. I’ m not certain that he understood all of what I was saying, but the bottom line was that he was getting ready to step from one phase of his life into another. Life goes on and that’s as it should be. He’ll be in a better position to understand once he has children and they are preparing to leave home and get married.
You want your kids to grow up and mature on the one hand and then on the other you want them to stay kids and for your family to all be together. Time passes by so quickly. Too quickly if you ask me. I for one am not anxious to see them leave and face the realities of adult life and its stress and strains. I probably would have made a great farmer in the 1800’s if I could have had my whole family living and working together in the same place. As it is now, two sons live close and the other two live within a couple of hours from us, so it isn’t as if they are living on the other side of the world. But I know and you know that once they get married, different priorities come into play. Where to have Christmas’ Whose house for Thanksgiving’ Where do we go for Mothers day and Fathers Day’decisions that need to be made that weren’t required in the years before.
While we’ re sitting there, he looks over and me and says that he thinks this might be the best time for ‘ the talk. As bad as my knee hurt, I wanted to run out of the room and find some place to hide to avoid having to discuss sex with him. First off I’ve never had ‘ the talk’ with any of my sons..I don’t know where to start and what to say. Also I figure that when they reach twenty or thirty they should know about this stuff and I should not have to explain it to them.
He could see my obvious discomfort by the expression on my face and started laughing and smiling.which I didn’t find amusing at all. Not seriously.
Anyway, I went to the computer later on that evening and googled up ‘ Father-Son Sex Talk’ and was surprised that there seemed to be a lack of information which a father could pass along to his sons if needed. I would think something like ‘sex for Dummies’ of ‘ The Idiots Guide to Sex’ would be a big hit. I have one more son to get married off; I might get to work on writing one in the next few months. Then again, I might not.