Letters 2010-12

I’m trying to lighten up the week since we lost our dog, Buddy, yesterday. Thanks to all of you who have written to me about your similar experiences. We will get over this and get another one in short order.

In the meantime, I received the following this morning and after reading it, made me have a chuckle, so I hope you will enjoy it as well.

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES

‘If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

‘If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dum dum head and Booger Brains.

EATING OUT

‘When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

‘When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

‘A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

‘A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS

‘A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .

‘The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

‘A woman has the last word in any argument.

‘Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

‘A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

‘A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

‘A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

‘A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

‘A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

‘A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

‘A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

‘A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

OFFSPRING

‘Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

‘A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 proposition, but I disagree. I think it takes 110% of your efforts to make one work. My wife and I will be married 38 years tomorrow. It hasn’t been easy nor do I expect it to be so in the future. What I will say is that it has been an adventure and has been fun. She is the best part of me and my best friend. We are all on this planet doing life together. I feel that if you are fortunate enough to find someone to love and someone who loves you in return, then you should count yourselves blessed indeed. I feel she got the short end of the stick since I wouldn’t live with me and I don’t how she does it.

I told my youngest son when he got married last year that there are many peaks and valleys to any relationship. The trick is to survive those and be able to live through them while making the journey. This life is what we make of it, and we should try each day to live the day to the fullest. Thank you for reading this and letting me take a few weeks to share my heartache about our dog. We will come out of this and move forward. Next week will be more positive, I promise.