While driving in some of the more remote parts of this country, I have often wondered why anyone would want to move into some area that seems to be totally beyond reach of our modern society.

I think I’m beginning to understand.

With the deluge we are subjected to through newspapers, television, radio and the internet, not to mention phone calls and person to person conversation, we process an enormous amount of information each day. Most of it, in my opinion, is of the negative nature.

Today, there is a report about some insane rider on a bus that kills and decapitates another passenger. Hardly a day goes by without an execution, multiple murders, or violence by some gang member against our society. Just when you think it might stop, up pops some more from some other part of the country. We’re still looking for Nazi war criminals from World War II. Toss in the bad guys responsible for current atrocities and well, I think you get the picture. It isn’t pretty.

The medical profession doesn’t help. One week, we can drink coffee and it has some helpful effects. The next week, it’s bad for you and will cause cancer. Sugar is good and artificial sweeteners are bad, or are it the other way around’Exercise for thirty minutes a day or exercise for an hour a day’Running is good for you, running is bad for you. Drink water with fluoride or water without’Drink water from the tap or use bottled water with plastic bottles that pollute the environment’One glass of wine a day is good for you but two may not be. Air is good for you, but where is it coming from, and how can you be certain it’s really air’

I made the last one up.

Then on top of all of this, you throw in the crooked politician de’jure who has just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and is saying something inane like”I didn’t know it was against the rules to take money from contractors.’Or ‘That couple of hundred thousand you found in my freezer’ I haven’t any idea how that got there’. someone is trying to set me up’ must be my opponent.’

The newspaper in my city comes in the morning and I might have to swear off reading it altogether if my mood keeps going downhill. It starts my day off on the wrong foot. I know that if you or I were to engage in a little illegal invoicing of Medicare or sending invoices to the Pentagon for Iraq services we never actually performed, we’d be in the big house very shortly.

But, you will have to admit that if we work hard for fifty or more years to try and get some sort of decent retirement and then have to read where some corporate fat cat stole a hundred million or so and got two years probation, it does tend to make you wonder if you could get away with it. Oh, and you’d probably have to pay a fine of twenty five million or so.

Let’s see, I steal a hundred million, and have to give back twenty five million and stay out of trouble (on probation) for a couple of years. How hard is that’

Even so, maybe prison (at least at the federal level) isn’t so bad at all. You get three meals a day. Free healthcare. Your clothes are provided, free of charge. No dry cleaning costs. Chance to work on another college degree and certainly could find time to workout for a couple of hours at a time. You’d want to go to the federal place so you hopefully didn’t have to share your cell with someone named ‘Mongo’or ‘Killer’. Of course, giving up your wife and kids would be hard, but I hear they have these ‘visits’ now days’so I suppose it’d be like me traveling and then coming home. Every couple of weeks.

With my luck, I’d probably end up in the same place as all of the convicted politicians and have to listen to them whine all day. I don’t think I’d want to take a chance on that happening.

No, I think I’ll just stick to my current plan and keep on going forward. If all turns out as I envision it, I might save enough to buy me a place out in the country.

Way, out in the country’where I don’t have to see or listen to anyone and can’t get good television or radio reception.

Hold on, I think I answered the question I was asking myself at the beginning of this column.