02 18 05

I
don’t know about you folks,
but it certainly seems to me
that each day that passes I
get more and more junk mail.
Now, my sons, who are much
younger, seem to get a pass
on the tons of medical stuff
we receive at our house each
and every day. I’m certain
there is some giant clearing
house somewhere that knows
our exact ages and has done
an exhaustive study on when
certain of our parts are
destined to wear out.

I am sick of receiving these
eight and ten page magazines
that start off telling you
the name of some ‘miracle’
herb or ‘simple home remedy’
that will cure warts, acid
reflux, baldness and heart
attacks. You start to read
this information only to
find they have conveniently
left off the names of these
wonder products. You have to
subscribe to some expensive
‘medical newsletter’ of the
month club in order to get
all of the information. I
just throw them away without
even looking at them
anymore. The same as I used
to do with those magazine
sweepstakes offers that were
going around years ago.  How
many useless magazines did
we buy, hoping that our name
would be the lucky winner of
that ten million dollar
prize? I still get a monthly
magazine on golf and I’ve
played the game about five
times in my entire life. It
goes in the trash as well.
Who has time to read all of
that stuff?

It appears that the latest
way to get me to open a
letter is to enclose some
sort of little stickers or
notepad. I am up to my ears
in these things. I have
address stickers for
Valentines, Memorial Day,
July Fourth, Labor Day and
certainly Christmas and
Thanksgiving. The notepads
you can give away, but not
the address stickers with
little flags, puppies and
flowers and your name. No
one but me can use them.
Nobody could possibly send
out this many letters in a
year. Haven’t these people
heard of e-mail?

As always, I’ve been
thinking about a home mail
out that is certain to get
the attention of every
living breathing American in
this country. What you need
is the right combination of
get rich quick combined with
a weight loss product.

I am going to call my new
book….”Peary Perry’s Guide
to Riches and Miracle Diet
Plan”.

What I envision is a sure
fire plan to work at home
and become fabulously
wealthy in ninety days while
losing fifty pounds as well.
The way I see it, if just a
small fraction of the
overweight and broke people
in this country buy my book
then I should be set for
life. Imagine the kind of
testimonials I could have
with before and after
photos. You always see those
guys who are on the
infomercials sitting on
their Rolls using a cell
phone to call their broker
or pilot. I could do the
same and show what my
clients looked like and how
they were living before
using my plan. Of course,
I’d have to do some research
and come up with some actual
examples of ways that people
could get rich in ninety
days. I’ll have to work on
that part of it. I’d thought
about just listing that as a
chapter entitled “Save your
money” but that might not
work for most people in that
short of a period of time.
It might be a little too
simple. I’ll need more
details if this is destined
to be a best seller.

The diet part is the easiest
since there are hundreds of
methods to lose weight.
First you have to lead into
the major causes of being
overweight, which I have
researched and can tell you
from personal experience is
caused mostly by just one
factor.

We eat too much.

My remedy for that is to cut
down on the number of
calories we are taking in on
a daily basis. People who
don’t eat much, weigh less.

Secondly, I’d have to give
the reader some advice on
what kind of exercise they
need to be performing in
order to lose weight. Here
again, from my experience it
boils down to one thing,
which is simply, get off the
couch and do something,
anything. Walking, hiking,
fishing, bowling, baseball,
riding a bicycle, swimming,
wash the car, I don’t care.
Just so you’re moving and
burning some of those
calories you are storing
from those cookies and cakes
you ate over the holidays.

The third section of this
highly informative book
would be some simple hints
at what not to do. These
would include suggestions
such as, don’t spend all of
your money; don’t buy things
you don’t need. Be frugal.
Baking cookies is not
considered exercise. Eating
a cupcake while playing
tennis is not good for you
as well. Watching an
exercise video will not
build muscle.

I can see how this could
prove to be a very lucrative
venture if done properly and
could lead to some
additional sequels.

Perhaps my second version
could be along the lines of
“Sell Real Estate in your
spare time while losing fat
and gaining muscle.”