Have
you ever noticed that events seem to
run in some sort of cosmic cycle?
Like celebrity deaths… I’ve always
heard they die in groups of three. I
can’t verify this, but it does
appear to be this way to me.
Probably just some old wives tale,
but still interesting.
Well, this week I’m going to comment
upon a series of recent events that
I’d bet even money on you haven’t
heard about in the past.
I’m talking about physical
violence…with food.
Yes, friends in this fair land of
ours, there seems to be current
trend, unhealthy one at that, of
using food as a dangerous weapon.
Take this first example. Just
recently in the Oklahoma state
prison, one Ernesto Rosales
allegedly tried to stab another
inmate by the name of Jermaine
Portillo with a pork chop. He was
charged on December 3rd,
2004 with assault and battery with a
dangerous weapon, i.e. a sharpened
pork chop bone. The charge goes on
to say that the defendant, Rosales
‘did therefore inflict serious and
grievous wounds on or about the left
eye of the said Jermaine Portillo
with the unlawful and felonious
intent then and there to do him
bodily harm’. The article did not
say if the pork chop was recovered
as evidence. Prosecutors handling
this matter say there is enough meat
in this case to keep Rosales behind
bars for many years to come.
In our next example, on December 10th,
2004 a man in Houston was arrested
when he flew into a rage over being
served a cold sandwich. He then
attacked the manager with the
sandwich, threatened to kill her and
blow up the restaurant. No other
information was available at this
time. Seems like a pretty cheesy
deal to me.
Finally, in Austin, Texas this past
week, we find that a woman has been
charged with assault after getting
into some type of argument over some
part of her inheritance. Seems the
woman got mad at her husband and
threw a beefsteak at him. Apparently
these incidents provoked the husband
into saying more than he probably
should have which caused his wife to
then get her pistol and shoot him.
Obviously she didn’t feel the
beefsteak had done the job in the
proper manner. My guess is that the
steak wasn’t loaded.
Anyway, I suppose the steak throwing
charge won’t be the main focus of
her trial. I’m thinking she would
have gotten off more easily if she
hadn’t gotten the pistol and put a
hole or two into her beloved. She
clearly wasn’t thinking properly
since she threw the weapon away into
her swimming pool. A place it would
most likely be noticed before too
long. “Hey look, is that the new
model Creepy Crawler…? No, it looks
like a forty five.”
She could get twenty years. For the
shooting, not the steak throwing.
They’ll forget about that small
incident.
I am just totally aghast. What in
the world is our society coming to?
I was in a discussion yesterday with
a bunch of folks and we got to
talking about the moral decay in
this country. Well, you can just see
that movies such as “Animal House”
are most likely to blame for some of
the root causes of these heinous
acts of violence. Food fights are
now being accepted as normal
behavior in most of the country. Not
a month goes by; we don’t read or
hear about somebody getting hit in
the face with a cream pie.
Degradation starts so slowly,
doesn’t it?
Just look at where this may lead.
Whole societies have fallen over
events such as these. Rome wasn’t
destroyed in a day, you know. It
took thousands and thousands of
pizzas to do it in.
First cream pies, then steaks, pork
chops and sandwiches.
Can casseroles, soufflés, cakes and
green beans be far behind?
Be afraid, be very afraid.
