Hard
to believe, but in just a little over a week the
presidential inauguration will be taking place
in Washington. I’ve been watching the mail for
my invitation to some of the activities, but it
either must have been stolen or lost. I would
have thought mine would have arrived by this
time.
In anticipation of the arrival of
my invitation, I have been searching the
Internet to see if there are any ‘deals’ to be
had in the way of travel and accommodation
packages.
There are.
The high-end package goes for
$205,000. Look at this figure, I have stated it
correctly. That’s $205,000 American dollars.
Now, before you throw this paper down and refuse
to consider this special offer, look at what you
will get. For two people, you’ll have your own
private jet to take you to D.C. and then back
home. You’ll spend your time in a 3,500 square
foot hotel room. Well, it’s not really a room,
since it has a total of 14 rooms. Yours will
have a gym, a kitchen, game room and of course
your own butler. You will be fitted for a custom
made gown and tux for the evenings activities.
You get matching watches. A five-course dinner
for eight. Manicures out the wazoo and an
American flag that was flown over the Capital.
Oh, yes and you get to keep the bathrobes.
That’s the $205,000 package. The
one for a million has some additional stuff, but
I decided to pass on this one as last year was
fairly lean for me and I don’t think I could
swing for it at this time. Perhaps the next one.
I did notice that for this package they give you
two actors who pretend to be Secret Service
Agents and who follow you around the entire time
you’re in the city. I suppose they wear those
long trench coats and constantly talk into their
wrists. Since they aren’t real guys I wonder
whom they are calling? Probably checking on
their cleaning or if the photos have come back
from the one hour place.
I know this year it’s too late to
make up my mind to go since I’ve waited so long.
I’m sure all of the good packages have already
been taken by now. This got me to thinking about
an opportunity for the next inauguration four
years from now. I think a great idea would be
for someone to put together a travel package for
the ‘little guy’. You know the ‘average
American’, something everyone who wanted to go
could afford if they were working at Wal-Mart.
This is an event that should be accessible for
all of America, not just the rich. This is part
of our history and all of us should have an
opportunity to participate.
Now how about this? For $795
(payable by check or Visa) you get the
following:
Remember this is for a party of
two…so you want to think about who might want to
invite.
-
Roundtrip bus tickets to the
Nations capital with reserved seats.
Complementary six pack of Bud and three
commemorative Cheese Whiz cracker boxes.
-
Pool side room for three
nights with king size bed at the Motel Six
closest to downtown Washington D.C. The
plastic flowers are guaranteed to be freshly
washed. Large towels, clean sheets and
bedspread come with this offer. Extra coffee
will be provided. The mini bar will have
another six-pack of Bud along with several
bags of red, white and blue M&M’s. A select
assortment of chips and bean dip will be
available. A free copy of USA Today will be
given to you each morning. Long distance
phone calls are not free. In room movies are
not free. HBO is free. The radio is free.
Bottled water is available at the front
desk.
-
Dinner for the two of you at
Steak and Ale in downtown D.C. You will be
transported to dinner via your own private
taxicab with an English-speaking driver.
The dinner menu includes any entrée listed
except the Kensington Club and the Caesar
salad. Both can be added for $3.50
additional. Desserts are included. Wine and
mixed drinks are available for a small fee.
Tips are not included.
-
Your Inauguration Day
activities will consist of a guaranteed
standing place along the parade route with
two (2) hand held American flags, which are
yours to keep as a memento of this special
occasion. An attempt will be made to locate
your standing position close to a closed
circuit television of the actual swearing in
ceremony.
-
Inauguration night will find
you and your guest on the steps of any of
the hotels holding the inauguration balls.
You will be able to see for yourself, the
guests as they arrive and depart. For the
first twenty-five couples who sign up for
this exciting opportunity, each will receive
a ash tray from the very hotel you are
visiting on this once in a lifetime
evening.
-
The morning after, you and
your guest will celebrate your trip at the
Golden Room of the Denny’s, located
conveniently next door to your hotel. There
you and others on the trip will share their
memories, have their group photos made and
be available to go to the head of the buffet
line as well as take advantage of all the
coffee and juice you can drink. Tips are not
included.
Well, there you have it. The trip
of a lifetime for America.
I’ll keep you posted on
additional details in the next couple of years.
