It
appears to me
that the current
raves for
nighttime
television are
the so-called
‘reality’ shows.
The latest one
is a remake of
the old
‘Gilligans
Island” routine.
I don’t know
about you, but
there were a few
things I found
hard to believe
with that
series. Like,
everything from
the beginning to
the end. I
always wondered
why they didn’t
use the stuff
that ‘washed’ up
on the beach to
just make
themselves a
boat and get off
the island.
However, that
probably didn’t
fit the story
line and would
have made too
much sense,
which doesn’t
seem to happen
on television. I
always wondered
where they got
those clothes…
But, in today’s
world we have
programs where
the contestants
eat weird
things, like
roaches or
worms. Now, no
one really likes
to eat roaches,
worms or other
disgusting
insects, but it
seems to keep
the show going
on week after
week.
I don’t consider
this to be
reality. Real
people don’t
normally eat
worms and
roaches. We eat
bad hamburgers
and spoiled
seafood. If the
producers wanted
to have a ‘real’
show then I’d
suggest this.
Pick some small,
Midwest town in
America…. go to
the county
health
department and
ask them to give
you a list of
the worst cafes
in the county.
Then send your
contestants over
to this dismal
diner and let
them order
anything they
want off the
menu. This, my
friends is
reality. Not
some worm eating
contest. This is
what we have to
endure on a
daily basis. You
won’t see worms
on the menu, but
you might just
have a few if
you look real
hard…. see how
many contestants
want to go
though with this
kind of a deal.
How about these
“survivor’ type
programs? We’re
to believe that
this group of
strangers just
happen to be set
down in some
jungle, island,
swamp or you
name it and have
to live off the
land by their
wits alone. Is
this goofy or
what?
First of all,
how much danger
can they be in
when there’s a
film crew
hovering over
the entire bunch
of them
recording every
action they
make, twenty
four hours a
day? Do you
really think any
of these people
are in any kind
of ‘real’
danger? If they
get a cut,
scratch or
heaven forbid,
snakebite, you
can bet the show
has a team of
doctors and
nurses standing
by to provide
Johnnie on the
spot medical
treatment in
minutes. In my
world, reality
is going to the
doctor and
sitting on your
butt for hours
at a time
waiting for him
to return from
some emergency
surgery. Here
you are in some
cramped waiting
room with a
minor problem
and you’re
subjected to
some joker
sitting next to
you with a cough
that would wake
the dead. The
person sneezing
on you looks
like they have
typhoid or Ebola
or something
worse. You’d
like to move,
but all the
chairs are
taken. This is
reality. An hour
after you leave,
your nose starts
to run and your
head hurts.
Think the
contestants on
survivor ever go
through anything
like this? Not
in our
lifetimes. Do
you really think
these folks
would ever go
hungry? Don’t
you think there
is a catering
service
providing food
for all of the
camera crew and
production
people? How many
times do you
think one of the
contestants just
got in the line
and grabbed a
heaping plate
from the buffet?
“No, you can’t
have any turkey
and dressing
…you have to eat
slugs and
leaves…” Sure
thing.
No, if the
networks really
wanted to show
‘reality’ then
they could make
contestants do
something
grueling such as
ironing. Or
having men wash
clothes by hand,
or better yet
wash clothes in
a machine and
forget to tell
them about
sorting whites
from the colors.
Bed making,
there’s
something that
is real, how
many people can
make a bed in
say 2 minutes
flat because
your in-laws are
on the front
porch?
How about giving
a bunch of
clueless
contestants some
kids for a week
and see what
happens? That’s
reality enough
for anyone. You
‘d have to make
certain they had
never had any
kids before to
qualify them,
but this might
be the ultimate
reality program
we’ve all been
waiting for.
Imagine some
twenty something
yuppie who lives
by themselves in
New York City
having to raise
a couple of
kids, say 7 and
12 years old for
a couple of
weeks. You know,
fix lunches, and
make them do
their homework,
take baths,
clean their room
and help with
the dishes. Then
throw in some
PTA, soccer,
football,
ballet, judo,
art and
gymnastic
lessons just for
drill. Talk
about real life,
this is it…
My guess is,
it’d never
fly…entirely too
unbelievable.
Have a good week
