If you’re like me, you find yourself
wondering about things that you happen
to see from time to time. I’m always
amazed by new inventions; you’d think
everything would be invented by now,
wouldn’t you? If I recall I read
somewhere that the US patent office was
shut down for a short period of time may
years ago. Seems someone had determined
there wasn’t anything left to invent.
Had to reopen it since the cotton gin
come available or something like that.
Isn’t it interesting how things develop?
I mean like eggs. Not how an egg was
formed or hatched, but how it came about
that someone decided, “This might be
good, let’s eat it”. If I had to guess,
I’d be willing to bet the first egg
eater was totally oblivious to what he
was eating. Probably his best friend,
Thor… saw the egg in a nest, cracked one
open and thought it would be a great
joke to serve it up and see what kind of
a reaction he’d get. When the butt of
his joke (no pun intended) didn’t get
sick, but actually liked what he ate,
the omelet was invented. The rest is
history.
So, if you invent something totally
bizarre, how do you go about trying to
find someone to try it out for the first
time? Take bungee jumping for example.
What kind of a moron would agree to
throw himself off the top of some tower
or bridge just to test the idea of
bouncing back up? How many of those guys
did they run through before they got the
length and cord strength problems worked
out? “Oops, next time we better make it
a tad shorter, this one was way too long
again. I thought you fixed that? Sorry
about that… Fred. You make the call this
time, I did the last two”.
Shark repellent. Was there a ‘help
wanted’ ad in the paper for this job?
Did someone actually volunteer to dive
into shark infested water wearing some
new chemical in order to test the
effectiveness of an unknown new product?
How many formulas did they go through
before they got one that worked? The ad
might have read like…“Wanted, willing
subject needed for marine experiment.
Must be fearless and single. Temporary
employment, excellent salary, no
benefits.” Maybe they didn’t tell the
guy what the job entailed and he signed
up thinking he was going off to some
exotic, National Geographic adventure.
Kumbaya for you.
How about those ads you see nearly every
day for folks to come in and help with
some new drug test? You know those ones
where you get paid to be studied for
several weekends. I’ll bet the
disclaimers for participation in one of
these will take about an hour to sign.
“May cause headaches, diarrhea, muscle
cramps, hair loss, ringing in the ears,
weight gain or weight loss, bloating,
skin irritations, loss of muscle tone,
and other minor aliments.” Payments will
vary according to your reactions to
these new and untested medications. I
make a joke about these, but I’d be
willing to bet there are lots of people
flocking to sign up for god knows what
just to make a few more bucks. “Yep,
Edna, all I’ve got to do is take several
more weeks of those high dosage
radiation exposure tests and we’ll have
enough cash for that new camper. We
might have to get it fitted with some
kind of a ramp since I seem to be having
trouble moving my legs these past couple
of weeks.”
Stunt drivers for the movies. How did
you first get picked for one of those?
Someone had to be the first guy without
any experience. Now the producers
figured out early on that putting their
million dollar star in a burning,
speeding car that was destined to crash
off of some mountain might endanger
their investment, so I’d imagine the
call went out for someone to fill in for
the big guy. Up pops, the class clown,
who has more broken limbs than sense and
says, ”That’s something I can do” and lo
and behold the stunt double business is
started. There you have it, an entirely
new industry. My guess is this is the
kid you remember in high school who
could always be remembered for his
famous line…”Hey, you ‘all …watch this.”
Now he’s probably rich and retired and
I’m still sitting here…
Well, I’ll just keep on thinking and
watching the help wanted ads…might be
something coming out that isn’t
dangerous and pays well….right.
