Sometimes
the thought occurs to me that perhaps I’ve already died
and have been living in Hell. As much as I’d like to
think this is not true, I am still forced to concede to
the following which I’m sure you’ll agree cause us so
much grief, we might think we are in Hell already.
Voice mail- how much of our
time is wasted each and every day listening to that dumb
little voice which always starts out…”Your call is
important to us, please be patient and stay on the line.
We will answer your call in the order it was received.
Our operators are on the other lines assisting other
customers. We estimate your call will be answered within
ten minutes.” First off, how come I’m never, ever the
first person on the line and every one else is waiting?
I mean, do some people get up at five in the morning to
call the phone company or the power company just so they
aren’t placed on hold? Not that it would matter since
these folks don’t start taking calls until about nine
o’clock anyway. This is a little piece of Hell… in my
opinion.
Taxes – have you ever heard
of any tax actually going down? All I’ve ever heard
about is how much more they need to fill their coffers.
Not that the service for any governmental project seems
to get any better, it just means more and more people
are working on the same old inefficient agency, doesn’t
it? Someone sent me a quote the other day that said
something along the lines that in some cases throwing
more people into some project or another will not
improve their efficiency. For example, no matter how
many women you apply to the task, it still takes nine
months to have a baby. The same could be said for the
government. Another piece of Hell, we all endure.
Politics – this is the time
of the year, when we start with the process all over
again of determining who will be lesser of evils in
running our country. I don’t care if you’re a republican
or a democrat; they all have their faults and quirks
when you get right down to it. If you go back in
history, I think you’ll find that every presidential
candidate has promised a chicken in every pot and what
do we get? Well, it isn’t a chicken, that’s for sure.
Each side blames the other for anything that goes wrong,
and each side takes credit for everything that goes
right. We expect our candidates to be saints starting at
about the age of accountability or five years old. If
they ever cheated at marbles, then we want to hold them
up to the world and unworthy. On the other hand if our
candidate, lied, cheated and stole, well then it’s of
because we shouldn’t be concerned over his personal
integrity. We have at least 8 ½ months more of this
daily drudgery to look forward to. Another piece of
evidence that we’re in Hell.
Television – doesn’t it
strike you as odd that we have about 450 channels to
choose from and nothing worthwhile to see? I mean how
many times can you watch “Smokey and the bandit”? Why do
we need reruns of Dallas when we already know what
happened to J.R.? Look at the History channel,
twenty-four hours, seven days a week, three hundred
sixty five days a year of old World War Two films. Are
we hoping to see a change? I mean, let’s face it.
Germany lost. We won. How much more of this do I have to
see in my lifetime? I think I’m in Hell.
Decline and fall of the
stock market- do I need to say more? Tell me this isn’t
looking like Hell.
Diets – the final straw and
most sinister of all Hellish devices. Tell me you
haven’t ever been on a diet at some point in your life.
But, which one? We live in the most modern and
best-advanced medical country in the world and we still
can’t get information to tell us if we should eat bread
or not. Is steak good or bad for us? Can I have salt or
not have salt? Will we die if we drink coffee? For every
doctor or scientist telling us that we can eat pasta,
there is another one who says we can’t. Who should we
listen to? Who is telling us the truth? Who knows? Diets
alone are enough to convince me I’m already in Hell.
Of course I may just be
wrong and this may only be a preview of what Hell is
actually like. If so, then I need to make certain my act
is straight and I get squared away before my number
comes up. Who’d want to endure this kind of misery for
eternity?
