This time of the year, most of
us sit down and earnestly make out our annual list of
resolutions for the coming year.
The first on everyone’s list is
the obvious…lose weight.
The second on everyone’s list is
the next most obvious…exercise more.
Since these tend to stay on our
list as a high priority until say, noon on New Year’s Day, I
have taken the time and effort this year to consider making
a serious resolution. It’s simply this.
I plan on cutting back on the
number of appliances in our kitchen. It’s time to get back
to basics. No sir, no sense in letting yourself get spoiled
by all of those unnecessary contraptions which just end up
enslaving you with their sirens call. It must stop somewhere
before we become totally dependent upon some machine to do
the work for us that we sued to do for ourselves. We must
rise up and maintain our independence.
Now, before you think that the
cheese has slid off of my cracker, I say to you…look at your
counter space in your own kitchen before you throw stones or
toasters or whatever.
When I was growing up, I think
we had a manual can opener, an electric toaster and a coffee
pot that stayed on the stove. I can’t recall anything else.
I seem to recall we did all right and I don’t consider
myself to be a victim due to a lack of childhood appliances.
I could probably sue, but then who would it be? My parents
are both dead and they didn’t have any money anyway. So what
would it matter if I was a victim? Who cares?
As I look around our kitchen, I
am astonished to find the following: toaster, coffee maker,
espresso maker, electric can opener, blender, mixer,
chopper/slicer/dicer, bread machine, coffee bean grinder,
knife sharpener. And those are just the ones on the
countertops.
In the drawers, I find something
called a salad shooter, an electric cheese grater, electric
knives, another hand mixer, another smaller mixer, a low fat
lean mean grilling machine, sandwich griller, hot dog
warmer, a juicer, slow cooker and a video camera. I haven’t
a clue as to why the video camera is there, but we must use
it in cooking for some reason or another. I’ve been looking
for it for nearly six months.
I don’t have an electric spoon,
if there is such a thing. I would probably have one if it
were offered to me. I must break this vicious cycle.
My point is simply this, how
much of this stuff do I really need?
None of it, if you ask me. I
know I could get by with just a can opener and a stovetop
coffee pot. I am strong. I am self-sufficient. I am man.
Of course, I do like to brew
espresso from time to time, so I’d probably want to keep
that. The bread maker is certainly handy since home made
bread tastes so much better than that you buy in the store.
Then there’s the blender, how can I live without that when
we make drinks in the summertime? The toaster, well,
everyone has to have a toaster. The coffee bean grinder is
certainly necessary for both the coffee pot and the espresso
machine. The juicer and slow cooker are necessary items for
any civilized kitchen.
There isn’t anyway I could get
by without the electric can opener, some of the new cans are
impossible to open manually. The mixers get used on a
regular basis for those family dinners. Those also require
the use of the electric carving knives and the salad shooter
as well as the cheese grater.
Of course the lean, mean
grilling machine, the hot dog warmer and the sandwich
griller are necessary for obvious reasons. We can’t get rid
of these, especially with the playoffs coming upon us.
No, it looks like to me the only
thing I don’t need in that kitchen is the video camera.
Oh, I suppose I could get one of
those knife sharpeners and can opener combinations. That
might help clear off a little more space, wouldn’t it?
Happy New Year
