11 10 03

We recently
performed a survey of the various newspapers which carry this
column. We wanted to see if there was anything we needed to do to
make it better. The results were interesting to say the least.

For the most
part, those editors we interviewed said they liked my brand of
humor and wouldn’t change anything. We appreciate their comments.

Others said that
I tended to be a ‘little cynical and heavy handed towards women.”

Well, I have to
tell you this struck a nerve and made me go back and review some
of the things I’ve said about women in the past. After careful
consideration, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I find the
differences between men and women or women and men (whichever is
politically correct) to be one of the most fascinating subjects
anyone can ever attempt to write about.

There is just so
much to discuss and analyze at every stage of our lives.

Male/female
relationships have to be one of the most complex issues of our
entire lives. I don’t think I will ever figure out exactly what
makes women tick. On the other hand I don’t think I’d ever want to
even if I could. How dull it would be if everyone thought like me
or had feelings like mine. Perish the thought. I wouldn’t wish
that upon anyone.

The older I get
the more meaningful these differences become. I see so much of my
life in the lives of others. For example, we were having dinner
with some dear friends the other night and he was telling a story
about some town he had passed through on a road trip of some sort.
He couldn’t remember the name of the town and she chimed in and
started naming off places in an effort to jog his memory. She had
gotten about a half dozen out, when he stopped and said something
to the effect that she might keep on going all night before she
got to the one he wanted. She gave him one of those looks we’ve
all gotten from time to time and he went on and finished the story
sans the name.

The point is that
relationships between male and female should get better the longer
they have been together. Like old wine, they should age with a
good dose of humor and lack of pride and one person being self
centered. If only we could take young married couples and infuse
the wisdom of staying together through thick and thin into them
when they first start out. You can bet we’d have less divorce and
stronger families.

Life isn’t a
destination but a trip. It’s isn’t about going somewhere or buying
something. It’s about being here today and content with what you
have now, not some years out in the future. We’ve all known lots
of folks who have gotten married and never enjoyed each other
since they were always waiting for something to happen. The next
big job, the new house, that new car, another baby. They were
looking ahead at the destination, not enjoying the ride on the
way.

Another point I
find fascinating about women is how complex they seem to be and
how simple men appear.

My wife says that
men can go fishing or hunting and come home knowing nothing about
any of the other guys on the trip except what kind of bait or gun
someone used.

Women can meet
someone in the grocery store and within fifteen minutes know more
about the other person than some men do about another man they
have worked with for thirty years.

Do women have
more emotions than men?

Are men more
action orientated than women?

I have no idea
what the answers are to these questions. I only know that having
been married for over half of my life, I know more about what
makes my wife happy today than I did yesterday, but certainly not
as much as I’ll know tomorrow.

My advise to
anyone married is to step back, look at your situation and realize
that the majority of us who have been together for any number of
years are in the same boat or have been at one time or another.
You aren’t alone.

All of us have
regrets; all of us have made bad choices from time to time. We’re
humans.

But you know all
of that can be corrected and made right with what we do with the
rest of today.

Our lives here
are so short in the context of eternity. Time waits for none of
us. You and I have the power to make decisions which can make our
lives and the lives of those we love better, if we try.