10 17 03

Perhaps
some of you out there might have noticed an ad running in that
part of the paper soliciting bids for various governmental
projects.

I suspect it
might have read something like this:

“U.S. Bureau
of Engraving is soliciting bids for advertisement and
marketing services to the general public of its forthcoming
issuance of new $20 currency notes. Please contact……”

I didn’t see
this, did you?

Obviously
someone did, and someone won the bid since we are now seeing
advertisements of the ‘New’ money in the papers as well as on
television. According to the report I just read, it says the
marketing effort is costing us taxpayers something on the
order of $32,000,000.

So, let’s
see, how tough can this be?

If I
understand it correctly the government prints the money we
use, distributes it to the Federal Reserve banks who in turn
distribute it to the local banks which we use to cash checks
and get cash. Isn’t that how you see it as well? I thought so.

So, if I go
to the bank, and use the ATM or go inside and actually speak
to a teller (do they still exist?) and the machine or the
teller serves me up a batch of new $20 bills that I’ve never
seen before, what’s a fellow to do? Run around and try to
confront the branch manager or president (do they still
exist?) and demand to know who is trying to foist off this
funny money to poor old innocent me? Should I call the
treasury department and tell them I suspect Bank of America
might be doing something illegal? Like printing up new bills
to pass out in the hopes that no one will notice or say
anything?

Or, do I go
quietly into the night and realize that this is just another
form of currency upgrade in keeping with the times to thwart
counterfeiting? I mean how many people in this country don’t
know that the money has been changing over the past several
years? It hasn’t exactly been a secret. I mean what options do
we have? We can’t spend foreign currency in this country and
you might as well throw those old Confederate bucks away since
they just aren’t going to come back to be of any use anytime
soon. Where else can we go? If we don’t like the $20’s that
are being handed out, we just go back inside and ask for four
fives or two tens. This isn’t rocket science.

A
spokesperson for the government is quoted as saying “We have
to build rapid awareness and immediate acceptance among the
cash-handling public.”

Is this a
great country or what?

Let’s suppose
you and I managed to get that $32,000,000 contract to let the
American public know about these new bills which would soon
show up in the banks and cash registers across the land, what
could we do to attract attention to these?

Well, for one
thing I’d suggest we have a sale. You know, like take out full
page ads in all of the major cities across the country that
might read like:

“New $20.00
bill, freshly printed, can be yours for a limited time for
only $15.99. Send $15.99 plus $9.95, each, for shipping and
handling. Soon to be a collectors item. You must act now to
take advantage of this limited offer, only ten bills will be
available to any one family. Order ten today and get an
additional discount. You can purchase ten new $20.00 at the
low, low rate of only $14.99 per bill (plus $9.95 for shipping
and handling for EACH bill you order)   Each bill you purchase
will be sent to you in it’s very own plastic zip lock bag (to
seal in the freshness) inside of a OFFICIAL UNITED STATES
GOVERNMENT envelope with a OFFICIAL UNITED STATES POSTAGE
STAMP attached. Each bill will have it’s own UNIQUE serial
number. Yours to keep and enjoy for generations to come. Act
now.

I’d be
willing to bet the orders would come in by the thousands. The
government would make some bucks and we’d probably make out
like bandits on the shipping and handling costs.

If that idea
doesn’t get their attention since they’ve already hired
someone to handle the marketing of their new currency, then
how about this: We offer to DISPOSE of the OLD twenty dollar
bills that get turned back into the Federal reserve for say,
something like fifty cents each or better yet twenty five
cents.

Then we could
run ads again…..

“Antique
twenty dollar bills for sale…get your now…only $24.99 plus
$9.95 shipping and handling…..”