From time
to time, we get a column in our local paper written by some
guy who claims to the an ‘ethic’s expert. Now, the gist of his
column seems to be answers to ethical questions written in by
some of his readers.
In trying to
maintain interest in what I write, I have taken the liberty of
copying his style and have solicited several questions from
the readers of the publications which run my articles so we
can see what type of moral issues they are dealing with on a
daily basis. It is my sincere hope that you will benefit from
the vast amount of wisdom I am passing along to these
disturbed individuals and that all of you will have a ‘good
one’. Whatever ‘a good one’ happens to be.
Dear Mr.
Moral Man:
I recently
suspected a food product, which I had bought at a store as
possibly containing some sort of poison. To test it, I fed
some to my cat. Thank goodness, she lived. Was this wrong?
From Catty, Ocklawaha, Nevada.
Dear Catty:
I should say, you were wrong. If I were you, I would have fed
it to that noisy cat belonging to your neighbor. Then if it
passed on…too bad. I wouldn’t pass this information onto the
neighbor, however.
Dear Moral
Man:
My wife is
complaining about the fact that when I see some attractive
young lady in distress with a flat tire, I always stop and
help but when she has a flat, I have AAA come out and fix it.
I have tried to explain that I am just trying to be a good
Samaritan. What do you think?
Bozo,
Ardmore, Louisiana.
Dear Bozo:
Sounds like
your wife might need some sensitivity training to me. Your
attempts to help those in need should be applauded, not
condemned. You paid for AAA, why shouldn’t you use it when you
can?
Dear Moral
Man:
The other
night a friend of mine and I went out for a few drinks. We
both ordered a local beer. When the waitress brought our
order, there was a local beer and a really expensive foreign
one as well. Since my friend had gone to the bathroom, I
grabbed the expensive one and knocked about half of it back
before he returned. He never said anything about it or acted
as if he noticed. Was this in poor taste?
Slammed in
New York City.
Dear
Slammed:
Of course
not, finders keepers, losers weepers is my motto. Also what
you don’t know won’t hurt you, so if he wasn’t hurt or
offended, then you did the correct thing. Good beer is never
in poor taste. Bad beer always is.
And our last
letter is from someone who clearly has entirely too much time
on his or her hands.
Dear Moral
Man:
There is a
deli around the corner from where I work I go there several
times a week. I normally order a couple of hot dogs. Sometimes
I forget and accidentally stick the mustard spoon into the
relish bowl or visa versa. I am plagued by guilt for the rest
of the day after this happens. I have been having nightmares
about people becoming ill over an allergy to mustard or relish
and it all being my fault. Is this irrational and how can I be
helped?
Stressed Sam, The Pentagon.
Dear
Stressed:
Yes, you are
irrational, you are also mental. Who cares? You need help or
you need a beer. Lighten up for Pete’s sake. You don’t happen
to work in that section that controls the nuclear missiles by
chance, do you?
Well, readers
that’s all of the time we have for these this week. I’ll be
happy to pass these along to you as they dribble in from
across the country. Just remember to drive safe, as there are
lots of nuts out there. See letters discussed above. If you
want answers to questions concerning your ethics, write to me.
