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One
of the questions I’ve been asked nearly every day of my life is
…..”What a funny name, where in the world did that come from?”
Well, it would take entirely too long to tell you how this all
came about. Trust me, it’s a very long story. I’ll save that for
some other day when I run out of things to talk about. I can tell
you without hesitation that having a name like this has had its
share of opportunities as well as headaches.
First of all, people never seem to
forget it. Secondly, with a name like mine…it’s fairly common for
the people taking your reservation to get the first and last one
reversed. This may not seem like any big deal to you, but it is when
you try to explain why you’re standing somewhere waiting to get a
table or get on a flight to wherever. Third thing is they tend to
mix the names up …..since they can’t believe someone would be named
Peary Perry, they list it as either Terry, Harry, Jerry, Larry,
Mary, or Craig (for some weird unexplained reason) and any other
variety you can come up with for any of them. Of course by this time
I’ve learned to live with this and it doesn’t bother me any longer
like it used to in the past.
For example years ago, I was on a
hunting trip into Mexico with a bunch of friends. When we got off
the plane and started to clear immigration, I was nearly at the head
of the line. The guy standing in front of me had gone to court and
had his name changed to just one word. No first or last name…just
one word only. I’m not going to tell you what it was, as I’d have to
write in all kinds of legal disclaimers to keep from getting sued by
his relatives or whoever knows this guy. I mean, it wasn’t anything
ugly or profane, just one name. Well, by the time the authorities
got through with me having two names almost alike and this fellow
having only the one name, all of the other hunters swore that we’d
have to go to the back of the line if we ever traveled with them
again.
Now, having explained all of this, what
is curious to me is the sudden profusion of media types with what
I’d consider to be really strange names. I mean, here we have some
singer (?) named Public Enemy? What kind of name is that? Do people
call him Mr. Enemy? If he’s hanging around by the pool, do his
friends refer to him as …’Public’? As in “Hey, Public, you want a
beer?” Every day in the paper I’m reading about some rock stars
named P. Diddy or Ice-T, Mr. Scruggs, Beck or somebody named Iminem.
I can’t figure out where they got these monikers to start with. You
suppose a bunch of people were just sitting around shooting the
breeze and somebody made the comment that they thought they’d change
their name to something really strange like maybe….”M&M” and then
somebody else speaks up and says…”No, you can’t do that since that
name’s been taken by some candy maker.” So, our guy thinks about it
for about five seconds and then changes the spelling so it sounds
the same, but spelled differently. His real name was probably
something like Homer J. Smurtz. I wonder if he has given any thought
to just how much grief he just cast upon himself by doing something
of this sort? Probably not.
I don’t keep up with the rap singer
scene very much but from what I’ve read these people are knocking
down some big bucks. They probably don’t have to stand in line at
the airport since they have their own plane. Most likely they have
social secretaries who call for reservations under someone else’s
name so they won’t be recognized and swamped with fans while they’re
trying to eat dinner. Perhaps what I should try to do is form my own
rap group I mean the lyrics don’t look all that hard to write…just a
bunch of nonsense rhyming…..something like…”I’m glad I’m bad… I’m
old enough to be your Dad….mess with me and you’ll be sad…” How hard
is this? It could happen…..I already have the name to go along with
this potential new career. Call or write if you want my new CD.
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