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So maybe I’ve
told you about this before, but in any case here it goes again. I
have good teeth. Now, writing a column like this takes time,
effort, dedication and the ability to turn common everyday events
into something that is worthy of describing in time for weekly
deadlines. I am always on the prowl for something to write about.
Anything. As fate would have it, this morning I have a dental
appointment and I have a column to write at the same time, so
voila, here we are with a column about good dental hygiene and
whatever else happens to hit my mind during this period of time.
If you haven’t been to the dentist lately, well…. you probably
need to go, don’t you? Seriously, I go every six months whether I
need to or not, and I usually need to. My teeth are like iron and
I think I may have one filing in my entire mouth. Dentists don’t
view me as a large market potential. I go because I need a checkup
and cleaning, nothing else.
Now, let’s get to the events of today. I
love gadgets. I eat those catalogs up when they come in the mail so
new technology is fun stuff for me. My dentist must be on the dental
suppliers hall of fame program since they have every new thing on
the market. When I started going to the dentist when I was a kid,
they had those lamp things that the doctors wore on their heads to
look into your mouth. I think the x-ray machine was lit by candles.
Floss came on spools like telephone wire, not really…. but you did
get it on big rolls. It was so primitive chipmunks running around in
those little wheels in their cages powered the drills. Well anyway,
you get the idea. This morning I had arrived in the new century.
First of all, they don’t x-ray you
anymore, they digitize you. They stick a little deal in your mouth
similar to the old bite wing x-ray things you used to gag on each
time they needed to look at the inside of a tooth. Takes a matter of
seconds to see what your teeth look like on an overhead monitor.
Uses about 90% less radiation than the old machines used to use.
This will probably make up for all of the radiation we used to get
when we went to the shoe stores as kids and they had those machines
that x-rayed your feet to see if the shoes fit or not. Of course,
anyone old enough to remember those things also remembers sticking
their hands, arms and anything else they could find into the slots
to see what would happen. It’s a wonder we aren’t all glowing in the
dark.
Back to my story. Now our teeth get
digitized and the results copied to a form, which shows an image of
how each tooth looks from one visit to another. Think that’s
something? Try this…they now use a little camera to stick into your
mouth to show you where to brush and what areas need special
attention. All of this is in living color on a monitor hanging down
from the ceiling right in front of your face. This may be a little
more information than I need to have at this time. You need
fluoride? They now have it in about six different flavors including
bubblegum. My favorite was the barbeque.
No, just kidding they don’t have that
…yet. One thing they haven’t been able to do away with is the
required dental lecture. I’m tempted to just give them a little form
letter that says something like…”I know I need to floss….I know I
need to brush back in the rear of my mouth…..I know I shouldn’t
drink so much coffee…..I know I shouldn’t eat lemons and limes…but I
do…so what?” I mean, hey give me a break here…..if they tell me that
these continued bad habits may cause me some problems in the next 40
or 50 years…will it really matter? I’ll probably be in the home
where they feed you pabulum or gruel and no one looks at you anyway.
Who need their teeth for that…so what difference does it make? On
the other hand …maybe I need to pay more attention and do what they
ask me to do….sounds reasonable doesn’t it? I might end up living
longer than I think. |
