As we
all know the average lifespan is increasing in this country. As I
recall most adults in the 1800’s were lucky to have lived 40 years
or more. Their daily work was so difficult just trying to
survive. I have often wondered why you never saw anyone smiling in
the old photos of our great grandparents, it was probably because
they were so tired and just worn out from working so long and
hard. It is now becoming a known fact that we are expected to live
at least 75 or more years before we kick off. This presents us
with some strange problems and realities, which our forefathers
didn’t have to deal with.
For the majority of us, it puts us in what is now being called the
‘sandwich generation’. We have kids at one end of the spectrum and
our parents at the other end. One of the growing trends in this
country is to have children later on in life. So, it is common
place today to see couples in their 40’s pushing baby carriages
while walking with their parents who are in their 60’s or so. For
all of us in this predicament we are now confronted with dealing
with juggling weddings, baby showers, graduations and funerals.
These are indeed the times that try men’s (and women’s) souls.
Recently we had a week in which we had to call the florist to
order flowers for the birth of a baby for a friend and at the same
time order flowers for a funeral. One coming in and one going out
so to speak. You only hope the florist doesn’t get these mixed up
in the delivery process. You would think that as you get older you
would attend more funerals than other events, but as they say…the
times…they are a’ changing. This time of the year we are besieged
with graduation invitations.
Most are from cousins or relatives we only see at funerals. I’ll
send a gift, but I’m certain to have some mysterious ailment that
will prevent me from attending the commencement exercises. I’d
rather have open-heart surgery than sit through 4 boring hours of
those things. Since I still have one in college and expect to see
him graduate sometime in the next 15 or 20 years, I can openly
state to my friends and family, I don’t expect you to attend his
graduation. This is, in my opinion, the ultimate sacrifice. I hope
some of you have had an occasion to attend one sometime, someplace
that was entertaining and beneficial. I haven’t. Weddings are ok,
since they don’t last long and you get to eat and dance, well at
least sometimes. You can always leave a wedding after the ceremony
without anyone noticing that you are gone. You can’t do this at a
graduation as everyone is sitting in some auditorium suffering
equally.
If you make a move to leave early or after your person has gotten
their diploma you are met with looks from other suffering parents
that label you as a coward and a traitor. Same looks the men got
when they disguised themselves as women in the lifeboats as the
Titanic went down. Baby showers are not bad either, since most men
aren’t invited and it would be, in my opinion, bad form to just
show up someplace where you weren’t asked. Therefore since the
invitations aren’t addressed to me personally , I decline to
attend on the grounds that I don’t wish to make a social error and
because there are usually better things to do on Saturday
afternoon. Things like sailing, napping or watching a ballgame.
We do get our share of funerals. These now take the form of the
parents of our friends. You have to attend these even if you don’t
want to do so since you want someone to show up when you make your
move to the next level. You build points at funerals. I go to your
families and you come to mine. That’s how it works. Attendance at
the reception afterwards is not required and can be avoided if you
want to do so. However, it seems to be the place where you meet
old friends and or long lost cousins whose kids are getting ready
to graduate and they need your current address. The food is
generally better than at a wedding although you don’t get to
dance.
