Seems
like it was just a year or so ago that I wrote a column on Fathers
Day and here it is time to do another one. That doesn’t make a lot
of sense does it? Didn’t think so but that’s about how my mind is
working this week. Holidays such as Father’s Day and Mother’s Day
are always stressful to me for some reason or another.
First of all, I have a difficult time organizing a Mother’s Day
event for my wife since my philosophy is she isn’t or wasn’t my
Mother. I am of the school of thought that my kids should be in
charge of this annual event, not me. Same goes for Father’s Day.
It isn’t any fun or doesn’t seem like as much fun if you have to
throw your own party. It means more to me and I suppose everyone
else if someone else does it for you. Doesn’t have to be anything
elaborate, just something I didn’t have to plan and schedule for
myself. Is this crazy or what? Anyway, that’s about enough of that
for this year. It should suffice to say I am not a big holiday
person at any time of the year. I keep working on it and seem to
get better as I get older, but at the current rate I’m improving I
think I have to live to be at least 125 or so to be truly happy
with scheduled holidays.
Perhaps that’s an incentive for me to have a longer life span.
Anyway, there are more important things to discuss this week.
Several other fathers who are friends of mine got into a
discussion over this past weekend about what happens to some
common items when they wear out. For example, the other day our
hot water heater gave up the ghost and died. We had it replaced
and as it was being carried out to the plumbers truck I asked one
of the guys what they did with the old ones. He just shrugged and
said he didn’t really know says they get stacked up outside the
shop and then they just disappeared from time to time. So, what
happens to them I wondered? Do they get carted off to the landfill
or is there a black market for old used hot water heaters? Perhaps
they get reconditioned and are sent to some third world country
that needs them? I can’t recall ever seeing a used hot water
heater store, have you?
Maybe there’s some secret depository for them in some remote part
of the county or maybe they use parts from them for some
government research project that we don’t know anything about.
Same thing goes for mattresses. Now from time to time we all see
old mattresses and box springs along the highways where they have
landed after falling from someone’s truck because they weren’t
tied down very good. Even these just seem to disappear after a
relative short period of time unless they happen to have caught on
fire and then they seem to be left there until the Second Coming.
What happened to all of the ones that get picked up by the trash
guys? I’ve been to a lot of landfills in my days, and don’t recall
seeing either a hot water section or a used mattress section.
You’d think as many of these as they sell everyday, there’d be a
ton of them lying around waiting to be disposed of somewhere.
Unless of course you have kids, then I think we tend to stash used
mattresses and other pieces of furniture in the attic so that our
kids can have them when they start to set up their houses.
Of course, they don’t want any of our old stuff when they move out
and get married or whatever, so we end up having an attic full of
furniture no one wants or can use for 50 years. Then when we die
or get sent to the home, someone comes and picks the stuff up and
it gets carted off to start life anew. Maybe it goes into
someone’s house that starts the process all over again, so the
mattresses we are seeing aren’t really new at all but recycled
from years past? I don’t think this is a plausible explanation for
any of the small mysteries of life. Instead of another bottle of
after-shave this Father’s day, what I’d really like would be for
someone to answer these questions. While you’re at it, find out
what happens to old boats. You never see a old boat wrecking yard
like we have for cars. Why not? These are the things Dads want to
know about.
