As
most of you know, for the past several weeks I have been writing
on the differences between men and women. A topic for which I have
enough material to last me for the rest of my life. This week I’d
like to explore the practice of ‘sandbagging’. Bear with me for a
moment, while I explain the concept. As men, husbands, lovers,
whatever the title, in order to achieve domestic tranquility and
to form a more perfect union…wait, that belongs somewhere else.
Anyway, in order to
preserve domestic tranquility men are expected, no, make
that…required… to forget the little things that women do to
irritate and upset us from time to time. Or most of the time. Or
all of the time. Anyway, being the good little soldiers that we
are, we follow orders and do as we are told. We forget that which
we are told to forget. We have been told to do this in the
interest of improving our relationships and not holding any bad
memories in our minds, which we might want to bring up at some
later date. This eliminated the practice of sandbagging.
Men have been doing
this for thousands upon thousands of years. Women have secured
their place in history by innocently making a suggestion such
as…”Oh, honey, why don’t you just forget about that?” At which
time men from the beginning of time think this will somehow work
to their advantage and do as they are requested. Behind every
successful man there was a greater woman. Look at Alexander the
Great. His true love was Sofia the Greater. Napoleon had his
Josephine. Caesar had Cleopatra or the other way around. Anyway,
all of these men then as well as now, follow directions and remove
from their minds that which they have been told. So, what does all
of this mean, you ask? Well, it’s very simple. Once we have
removed these irritating issues from our minds it leaves mankind
totally defenseless the next time we engage in some argument where
these things could be pointed out. We don’t have any references or
even a list to fall back on. Typically what happens is this…Man
has forgotten that which he was told to forget…gets into
arguments…says something like…”You always do X”.
She says, “Well, give
me an example of when I did it”. To which he has no response since
he has removed whatever it was from his brain, as he was told.
Gone, not there, removed for all of eternity, didn’t write it
down. So he has to stand there dumbly looking like a calf at a new
gate and plead stupidity. He didn’t make a list of whatever his
argument was about and he erased all of the facts from his memory
bank, which was already overdrawn anyway. There is almost nothing
worse than a woman saying to you…”Well, just give me an example of
how or when I do such and such” and you can’t come up with the
answer. Her next response is…”See I told you that you couldn’t
think of anything..”
Men must have been
genetically altered somewhere down the line and this design flaw
was introduced right about the time Adam was on the scene. Now,
let me also take a moment to point out that women on the other
hand have absolutely no problem remembering any and everything
that has ever happened in any relationship for all of their
natural lives. Ask a man what they were wearing on their first
date and you’ll get an answer like…”clothes?” Ask a woman and
she’ll tell you what color socks you had on AND be able to draw
the design of the tie you were wearing. Your first meal at a
restaurant, no sweat…..guys will say something like…”We had
food.”
Women can tell you
course by course the entire meal as well as what was on the daily
special for that evening, after 50 years have passed, the guys
can’t even remember meeting the women…by this time they’ve
forgotten that there was a time in their lives when they actually
didn’t know them. Women do not adhere to the practice of ‘no
sandbagging’. This was never figured into their contracts. Women
can forgive, but trust me they don’t forget. The Geneva Rules of
‘All is fair in love and war’ do not apply in this situation.
Agree or disagree? I don’t care….
