Never
being one that could be called a traditionalist, I was talking to
my oldest son the other day and the subject of his anniversary
came up in the conversation. Since he had been married for
thirteen years I asked him what the thirteenth anniversary was …he
didn’t know. Well, we got to kicking it around and I told him I’d
look it up and find what it was so he could buy the proper gift
for his bride. Turns out …the thirteenth year is the year of
….lace. Remember that in case you get called to be on …”Who Wants
To Be A Millionaire?”
In quizzing him a bit more I found out that
not only did he not know what this year was, he had somehow
overlooked what some of the previous years had been. I thought
that tin was an odd choice for the tenth year and sugar for the
sixth? How do you buy something made of sugar? I suppose sweets,
candy or something like that, but that doesn’t seem to have as
much appeal as do gifts of jewelry or other stuff that women like.
Now, this brings up an interesting situation. Most anniversary
gifts are structured more to the bride side of the relationship
and not the groom. For example, as I said…lace is the expected
gift for the thirteenth year of marriage. Name something made of
lace that you can give to the groom. I can’t. Perhaps a lace
fringed pillow or something, but not much choice on something the
guy can wear out in the open unless he just likes to fight
strangers.
Same with the fifteenth anniversary, which is
china. If our wives go to the sporting goods store and look
around, how many china pieces can they lay their hands upon that
they can buy some male without smiling a great deal? No, I think
in the interest of fairness and equal opportunities for all in our
modern times then we need to establish separate gift lists for
men. These would have an obvious appeal to all concerned. Sporting
goods and hardware stores could now advertise that they had gifts
for every occasion. June would be a big seller at all men’s stores
and would probably require a registry at Home Depot or Lowes.
“Yes, I’m here to buy something for the Perry wedding coming up in
a few weeks…”
Then you’d be led to a nice walled off area,
made of rough cedar and given a cup of hot coffee in a new mug by
a young personal shopper tastefully dressed with a carpenters
apron and a pencil behind her ear as an added touch….totally
dressed of course, not just in the apron. There you’d pick out a
gift that was appropriate for the event. This place would be
decorated with manly prints such as the dogs playing poker series
or some nice tractor calendars. After you look over the various
catalogs and check to see what has already been picked out for the
new groom you’d probably hear something like…. “I think he’d like
a new jig saw” or better yet, “Wow is that air compressor on
sale?” So, as you can see this opens up a whole range of new
possibilities.
If we had a male gift list, we could have
gift years with things that only men can truly appreciate. I’d
suggest that we might have vinyl (nice set of seat covers comes to
mind) for one year, maybe rubber (as in tires) for another year.
Power tools could make up several years since we could put them
into various categories like maybe hand tools or yard equipment.
Can’t you just see some guys eyes glaze over when he gets a new
engine block for his 25th (hard steel) anniversary?
See, the new me has me thinking in a kinder, gentler way that says
we should have equality for everyone and gifts that are useful and
appealing to everyone, not to just a select few. That’s
discrimination and that’s just plain wrong. Men have feelings, men
are sensitive, men like horsepower and things that make loud
noises.
Give it some thought and I’ll try and see
what we can do on the National level to get the list changed….Who
knows….the man you surprise with a new water hose may one day
plant some flowers. It could happen. Comments go to
www.pearyperry.com
