Every
time I pick up the paper lately it seems that someone in the
so-called scientific community is coming out with some newly
developed theory on how the universes were created. Maybe I’m
crazy, but did all of these folks get in on some deal that I
missed out on?
First off the latest info reports that the
universe was created some trillion years ago. According to some of
these people the universe is still expanding after all of these
years and will or should continue to do so for the next trillion
or so years in the future. They estimate that all of this happened
in the space of about .00000000000000000000000000000 (lots more)
1 seconds. Now, all of this is fine and good, but there still is
something that I’d like explained and that I’ve never seen anyone
express any views. That is simply, what was there before and why
did it happen in the first place?
I mean if the best minds of the day can
estimate the birth and possible death of the entire universe how
come you don’t hear them say what they think caused it all to
occur in the first place? Now, this might sound stupid to you but
hold on for a second. Here we have billions and billions of
galaxies with billions and billions of stars and planets out there
more light years than the human mind can comprehend. Now, by
anyone’s definition, that a lot of space. So, are they trying to
tell us that there wasn’t anything out there, nothing, nada, zip,
zero, zilch and then one day somewhere in the dark recesses of the
unknown, something triggered this so called ‘Big Bang”?
Well, if that’s what they’re trying to tell
us, what I want to know is, what or who caused the ‘Bang’ in the
first place and where did the space that it occurred in come from?
Was there no space prior to the ‘Bang’? If so, what was there? If
there was space where did it come from? Well, as you can see,
these kinds of questions are very tiring and for the most part
probably not answerable. The main point of all of this is to say
that I don’t really believe anyone has a clue as to what the truth
is and we probably never will until we die and find out for
ourselves. It seems to me anyone can sit around and develop
theories that are just about as plausible as the next guy. Look at
it this way, you’ve gone to school for many years and gotten your
Masters and now your PHD in whatever. You don’t really know what
you want to do for a living, but you want to make some serious
bucks. Have I got a deal for you? You get a job or position in an
industry where no one can prove or even disprove your theories. I
mean, who’s to say that what you come up with is either wrong or
right?
Suppose you make the statement that the
universe will end in say, 1 billion years…..who’s gonna remember?
Who’s gonna know? It isn’t like there is anything they could do to
you at that point if you’re wrong by a couple of billion or even
trillion years, is there? So, you land this cushy job teaching
whatever and get paid big bucks for 40 years, then retire and live
out the rest of your life as Professor Whoever. Only you never
really wrote or taught anything that can be proved beyond a shadow
of a doubt. Is this a deal or what? Looks to me like just about
anyone could get into this line of work. In fact now that I think
about it, I am at liberty to tell you the Perry Theory of
Universal Evolution.
Since I’ve been working on this a great
number of years, you my friend are fortunate enough to be the
first to hear this new and novel treatise on this unknown area of
science. Now, after all of this time I can now tell you that there
is no space. In fact there aren’t any planets, stars or other
cosmic items in the entire universe. I believe we are just like
the molecules in a glass of water. Only we, I mean we, the sun the
moon, the stars, the planets, the solar system, the galaxies are
all just a part of some giant, really, really large person or
being…..Now we function just as the cells in our own bodies do. We
are living breathing parts of this humongous entity. I have come
to the conclusion we (our solar system) is located close to the
liver of this big thing. My reasoning for this is because we don’t
get shaken up as much as we would if our cellular system were
located out on say the arm or the leg.
Since we’re kind of in the middle, then our
systems are pretty stable most of the time except when the big guy
starts to run or falls down. That’s when we get earthquakes and
other cataclysmic event that cause all of us lots of stress. Now,
I have published this theory as well as several others (“Why
the water in my toilet bowl flows clockwise”. And “Swallowing gum,
is there permanent damage?”) in my new book which is scheduled
to be published by a major publishing firm in the next year or so.
I plan to retire with the royalties and move to some small,
secluded island where I shall spend the remainder of my life
exploring and developing theories about the creation of life and
other rather deep and mystifying subjects which will require 100%
of my concentration.
Of course, I shall be available for
conferences and speaking tours if you should need for me to speak
at your convention or gathering. I am also available for any
upstanding University or College to bestow upon me a honorary
degree or two in honor of my descriptive theories. After that I
may agree to remain on your staff and teach until I obtain enough
tenure to be able to retire….wait, I think this is where I started
…..as always Comments go to www.pearyperry.com.
