Call
me crazy, wait! hold off on that. Is it my imagination or does it
appear that all of the commercials we see during the 6 o’clock
news are about old people that are on the verge of death and
dying? OK, perhaps it isn’t that bad, but almost. I sat down the
other night and wrote down a series of products, which came at a
frequent clip in between the nightly news. You’ve seen them as
well. In the space of about 20 some odd minutes, I jotted down
several commercials that are on nearly every evening. The networks
must think we’re all about to kick the bucket or something.
There
was one for allergy medications. One for increasing my sex drive.
Two for an adult diaper. One for arthritis. Another for
hemorrhoids. I believe there was another one for something to
improve my memory, but I can’t be sure. I might want this one.
Anyway, my point to all of this is I’m curious to know what they
advertise on other channels for other age groups. Since I don’t
watch Saturday morning cartoons anymore, what do they advertise?
Surely not the same stuff we get. They must hawk cereals or toys
or something called a Brittany Spear, whatever that is. I’m not
sure I’d want my kids to be playing with sharp things, so I’d
discourage them from buying one of those. It’s obvious that we
don’t see all of the advertisements except for those that are
directed to our specific demographic group.
So,
I’m certain there is a number of people involved in research
somewhere doing nothing but trying to figure out just who is
watching what program at what time. Obviously the news and stock
market isn’t very important to the six and seven year olds running
around the houses of America. Likewise, I’m not too likely to be
watching the Olsen twins doing whatever they do. The point to all
of this, besides giving me something to write about is to discuss
the daily need for this stuff. I don’t object to commercials by
and large, but let’s be real, how many of us are going to need to
wear an adult diaper while we’re riding a horse and herding
cattle. Come to think of it, how many of us want to wear a diaper
in any event? How did folks in the 19th century handle these kinds
of problems when they arose? I’m sure cowboys out herding cattle
100 years ago would have ridden up to some other cow poke and said
something like." Say, can you spare me a clean diaper?"
Some
of the other commercials are equally ridiculous. Take the one for
the hemorrhoid lotion. Here’s some poor woman in pain suffering at
church and squirming on the benches. Now, my question is why
doesn’t she just get up and leave? She isn’t having a good time,
so why not go home and come back when you feel better? The way she
thrashes around on the pews has got to be disturbing everyone on
that row. I mean if I were sitting next to her, I’d be getting
kind of concerned about the way she acts. Oh, and I forgot
to add that we must have at least one or two commercials about
some false teeth glue. We’re all to believe that if you use
whatever this stuff is called, then you get to be in some
musical performance where everyone eats apples and corn on the cob
and creates some type of food symphony. Right. Last week, I saw a
new one for burial insurance. "Take care of the awful burden
your loved ones will have to face, someday." Or how about
this one,." Insurance is for the Living, not the dead."
Well, for the information of those making these studies. I have
all of my teeth. I don’t have allergies or hemorrhoids. My sex
drive is, well my business. I can make it to the bathroom and
don’t need adult diapers. And, oh yes, when I die I’d like to go
out the same way I came in with absolutely nothing. Comments go to
www.pearyperry.com
