By
this time of the year, the majority of Americans will have
received about 473 catalogs of various types selling everything
from firewood to fruitcakes. The other day we received a copy of
the latest Victoria’s Secret catalog at our house. Now, this is
not a catalog for the shy and faint of heart. This is not one to
leave lying around if the parson is coming over for lunch. This is
not one for children. Especially teen-age boys. Anyway, the first
page had been folded back and I thought perhaps this was a hint of
some sort for me to notice as a suggestion for old Saint Nick.
Let me tell you,
if this was meant for me, my wife obviously thinks I am a lot
wealthier than I really am. Either that or she has a lot more
money than I know about stashed away somewhere. The leading items
in this years catalog are, ready for this? A bra and panty outfit
that is on sale right now for only…….(drum roll, please)
$13,000,000. That is correct…thirteen million bucks for this
little ensemble. The bra is $12,500,000 and the panties are only
$750,000.
Now, you might
guess these are not your ordinary cotton or nylon undies. No sir,
these are diamond and pearl encrusted creations for that girl who
has everything. Or at least nearly everything. This outfit makes
me wonder if someone will actually buy it and if so for whom? You
cannot throw these things in the washing machine or leave them at
the laundry mat. If you do, I would like to know which location
they are using. Anyway. After I finished making comments about
something as ridiculous as these being on the market, we get into
one of those discussions that we all have been in and cannot
figure out how it started or why. Anyway, I made the comment that
you probably would never see a set of jeweled boxers or briefs for
men. Men would never wear anything like that even on a bet. I
should have left the matter drop at this time, but no, I had to go
on a little further and made a statement to the effect that….”If
it weren’t for women, men probably wouldn’t wear clothes at all.”
Well, let me tell
you that this started one of those arguments that you know you are
going to lose when you start, but you keep on going anyway because
you just have to defend yourself. My point was that generally men
have no problem being naked around each other. She immediately
wanted to know where I would have been around naked men…
To which I
reply….”In the Army, going to the Police Academy. In any gym or
health club in the country…anywhere that men exercise.. you will
probably find naked guys.”
Men do not think
too much about it. I do not know what goes on in the ladies
dressing rooms at health clubs so I am at a loss to expound on
those activities. I just know that men are not really hung up on
clothing. In trying to build support for my statement, I traced
the whole clothing issue back to the beginning of mankind in the
Garden of Eden. It appears to me that what happened is that Eve
was getting tired of wearing the same old fig leafs year after
year and wanted some fur to make the first fashion statement. As a
side note, have you ever figured out how they got those fig leafs
to stick onto their bodies? Anyway, here Eve is running around
wanting Adam to provide her with a new wardrobe and he is so dumb
he has not figured it out that if he pays attention to her, then
all of the good times will all be over.
Truth to tell,
probably what the serpent told her was something along of the
lines of …”You would really be foxy looking in a new fur coat”. In
my opinion this is probably the very origin of telling women they
are “Really foxy looking.”
I manage to
ramble on for a few more minutes, but even I can tell that I am
losing steam and my enthusiasm has definitely fallen off for this
conversation. By this time I’m getting tired of discussing the
whole thing and just want to stop…..But then she comes out with a
great statement that I feel has some merit to it and is certainly
worth consideration. She thinks for a moment and then says…”You
know if men were naked, there probably wouldn’t be any wars, would
there?” You know that is a very valid point. Happy New Year.
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