I
would suspect that most of us have done things in our past, that
we wish we hadn’t when we look back with the gift of 20/20
hindsight. For some of us, it might have been saying, “I do” too
quickly. For others, it could have been those famous last words
heard only in the Southern part of the country…everyone’s heard
them at one time or another…”Hey, y’all watch this….” Those words
are usually heard just before the main character does something
incredibly stupid. It amazes me how dumb grown people can be….
this includes me. I’ve never jumped or dived (dove?) off of a
bridge or any tall structure into some unknown pool of water, but
lots of folks have. I have done more than my share of really dumb
stunts and am glad to report than none have resulted in permanent
damage to either me or anyone else that I can think of at this
time. We got to talking the other day about dumb things people
have done with microwaves for instance. I remember getting a phone
wet, and thought if I just put it inside the microwave for just,
oh maybe 5 seconds, I could dry the circuits all out. Wrong. Burnt
the thing to a crisp. Telephone repair guy wanted to take it into
the shop since he’d never seen a phone toasted like this. I didn’t
have the heart to tell him what I’d done. Age doesn’t seem to have
much effect on me either. If you recall, a couple of years ago, I
about did myself in riding an office chair down the hill from my
house in an attempt to establish a luge event. If you will
remember the chair turned backwards and I narrowly avoided a major
disaster by swerving off the road onto the grass before I hit a
major though fare going backward in an used office chair at about
20 miles per hour. In looking back, it seems funny but I can still
imagine what the funeral sermon would have sounded like…Anyway….
if there is any hope at least for me in at least one area, it’s in
on-line gambling. Now, not being much of gambler anyway…. it’s
just unbelievable to me how people can log in to some unknown web
site, somewhere in the world and send off their credit card number
to some place or person they haven’t met and then sit down and
play poker or slot machines or whatever. When I think of this type
of deal, the movie …”Wizard of Oz” comes to mind. I don’t trust
slot machines that I can sit in front of much less those that I
can’t see. I think the last time I even pulled a handle on a slot
machine was over 20 years ago…I didn’t win then and don’t expect
to win now. What makes you believe that someone isn’t sitting at
the other end of your computer screen and watches what you bet? At
the casinos of the world, at least you can look the dealers in the
eye and try to figure out if you’re being cheated or not. How can
you do this with these betting services on line somewhere? What
keeps these guys from letting you win for a few hands and then
wiping you out? Have you ever met anyone who has won any money in
one of these things? I haven’t. I think the ones that play are
just too embarrassed to admit that they do. Let’s see how this
might work…you bet $50 that the number 15 will come up on
roulette…I turn on the old computer simulated roulette wheel and
guess what…? You lose…is this a big surprise or what? Or let’s
play a slot machine…. here again we see those spinning wheels just
like we were there…but again no big win…How dumb can you be? Does
anyone think that these outfits, wherever they might be located,
would just let you bet a ton of money, hit the big time and break
the bank? I think not. This is the adult equivalent of the game we
used to play when we were kids by picking a number between 1 and
10…you could always change the outcome if you wanted to do so.
Now, if you want some real action, just e-mail me your blackjack
hand or numbers on your dice throw. I’ll tell you whether you won
or lost and where to send your money…honest…..Comments go to
www.pearyperry.com
