 Back
when I was a kid, there was a big stir going around about UFO’s and
aliens from other worlds invading our planet. The Russians were first into
space with the Sputnik satellite. Nearly everyone was looking to the skies
to see if what might be arriving from some faraway galaxy. In fact I think
I recall some folks even buying underground shelters to live in, just in
case spacecraft from some other world attacked us. Having said all of
that, and here it is 40 years later, I’m not sure any other civilization
in their right mind would want us. First off, if some other creatures had
managed to figure out the mysteries of space and time travel, they must be
far more intelligent than we are.
Secondly, who’d want to take over a
planet filled with weird people? Now, this leads me to today’s story,
which is the weirdness of the human race as I see it. For example, most of
us are aware that a major tire manufacturer has had a recall issued on
some brands of tires in the past few weeks. Well, we had already heard
there was going to be a recall and that the tires were dangerous so we had
them changed out to another brand. That same day, I’m getting gas at a
self serve pump and notice that the SUV on the other side of the pump had
the same kind of tires that we had just gotten rid of because of the
recall. I asked the young lady getting gas if she knew about the recall
and where to find the information on the Internet if she had a computer.
Now, get this picture, I’m trying to be helpful and possibly save her
life or someone in her family. Instead of saying something simple like..
"Thanks, I’ll look into this". She gets angry and yells at me
and says.."I don’t want to know about this, I can’t do anything
about it and I don’t want to hear this right now…" Gets in her
car and drives off in a huff. Another case of…"Let’s kill the
messenger." Weirdness at it’s best.
The past few days I’ve been involved in
the takeover of a contract for a new job we’re working on in another
city. I need about 25 hand trucks or dollies or whatever they call those
things that you carry boxes on. The best and cheapest place for them is
the local El Gianto Hardware store. My son and I find them, he starts
pulling them together and I go and get 2 of those big flat carts that you
stack stuff on to check out. We’re loading these onto the flats and
trying to get them herded into position to maneuver out to the checkout
lines. Weird person of the moment comes by and asks…"Are those on
sale?" I told him I didn’t know. He then asks what I need all of
them for and I tell him….." For my business." He then wants to
know if I’m buying these cheaper here so I can resell them somewhere
else. Now I suppose you could do that, but I’m not in the
wholesale/retail business. I’m just trying to get 30 more guys up and
going with the right tools and equipment. I get the impression that this
fellow wants to bend my ear and see if there’s a way he can pick up some
extra bucks if possible. Finally, he leaves and is quickly replaced by
weird #2.
I’m pushing and pulling my load of these
things through the aisles slowly making my way toward the heavenly gates
of the checkout clerks. It’s hot and I’m tired and sweaty and hungry.
This lady stands in front of me and wants to know…"What do you need
all of these for?" I remember to be patient and just think she may be
related to weirdo #1, but then see him going out towards the parking lot
with some other woman. I know she isn’t a store employee since she isn’t
dressed like one. Maybe she’s the hand truck police or something.
Anyway, I explain again that these are for a contract we are taking over.
She looks over at the area where we’ve gotten them from and tells me…"Well,
you haven’t left any for anyone else." I’m thinking that maybe
she came into the store and wanted to buy one so I tell her…If you need
one, I can give you one of these since I have to go to another store
anyway to buy the rest of them." She tells me…"No, I didn’t
want one, but maybe someone else would later on today and there wouldn’t
be any for them since you’ve bought them all."
My first thought is to run as fast as I can
and escape, but I have work to do, so I just keep on pushing the flat cart
to the checkout counter. I don’t know about you, but I was under the
impression that stuff in the stores was for you to buy and take out of the
stores so that the stores could get some more and sell it later. Was I
being socially improper in not leaving any of these behind? What if I went
into the donut shop and there was only a dozen jelly filled donuts left?
Am I obligated to only take 11? What kind of remorse should I feel if
there is only one box of corn flakes sitting on the shelf at the grocery?
A person could get anxiety attacks trying to decide if they were worthy of
that last box of cereal. "By taking this, am I taking the food out of
the mouth of some child who might be hungrier than me? "
In retrospect, I wonder if possibly the
aliens had already arrived and had taken over this store. If not, then
they would only have to follow me around for a day or so and the report
back that these humans are just too weird to consider conquering. They’d
probably do better going to some place where the life forms look and act
like rocks. We’d be too difficult to handle. Anyone with any
intelligence would know that. Speaking of weird…..Can you tell me why…wrong
numbers are never busy? As always, send non-weird letters and comments to
me at www.pearyperry.com. |
