 A
few weeks ago, we received an invitation to the wedding of the daughter of
one of our former neighbors. These are nice people and we decided to see
what would be involved if we wanted to attend. The event was to held on an
island in northern Michigan at some turn of the century hotel. Being the
good little trooper that I am, I called up there to see what kind of
accommodations were available, what the views from the room were and of
course the cost. The plan was for us to arrive on a Friday, attend the
wedding on a Saturday and leave after a luncheon on Sunday.
When I finally got connected to the
reservations clerk, I was informed that a room with a view would be in the
neighborhood of $800 per night. I told the fellow that I be happy to just
be in the vicinity, let’s get out of the neighborhood and he told me the
least expensive (read: cheap) rooms that were available would be $315.00
per night per adult. This is before tax, of course. This is an inside
room, with no view. Now, that means that I’d be paying somewhere around
$630 for each night, just to have a place to sleep. Of course, I could be
sneaky and not tell them I was bringing my wife and hope I wouldn’t be
caught, but that just didn’t feel right. Somehow, I think she’d pitch
a fit if I told her to wait in the car and I’d open up some fire exit
door for her rather than having her come in with me through the lobby.
This trick used to work at drive-in movies, but not as a mature adult. I
told the clerk that I was only interested in renting a room, not in buying
one. A little joke.
My first clue should have been when
he didn’t laugh. Then I asked if there were any other hotels close by or
in the area that weren’t so proud of their place. His tone got so frosty
that my ear stuck to the receiver. He told me in no uncertain terms
that.."They were the hotel for the event and that he guessed I could
call around and see, but he wasn’t at liberty to recommend any other
place to stay but his hotel." Now, taking all of this into
consideration, we calculated that the 2 nights at this swankendia would
set us back about $700 (don’t forget the tax). Then when we add the
$1500 for the airfare and throw in another $250 for food and other
expenses, our total to attend this wonderful, memorable, life changing
event would cost us about $2500 (I forgot the taxi and airport parking
fees).
Now, these were friends and
neighbors, but now that we thought about it ,we weren’t that friendly,
so we sent a nice crystal dish instead, with our deepest regrets. You know
to me, a hotel is a hotel. As long as it’s clean and quiet and has a
good air conditioner or heater, I’m a happy camper. I’ve stayed in
places that looked really bad on the outside and were wonderful inside.
I’ve also stayed at hotels that were widely advertised and cost a
bundle, only to have them turn out to be miserable. It’s ok with me if
people want to spend their money on $1,000 a night rooms, but I don’t. I
suppose if I was a rock star, or a sports figure or a dot-com mogul, then
money isn’t any object. I’m not any of those, so I’m generally
looking for a place nice and quiet to sleep when I’m away from
home.
Several years ago, we took the boys
out to San Francisco. When we got to the hotel, our reservations were
screwed up and we were told they were completely booked up. Since we had a
room confirmation, they decided to give us the presidential suite, since
it was the only thing they had left. We certainly enjoyed the upgrade, but
you know, it wasn’t anything to write home about. I mean, you got an
extra bathroom and an extra hairdryer, but we only use one at a time
anyway. It really wasn’t any big deal. I don’t know what the regular
price on this place was for a night, but I wouldn’t have paid it. Maybe
I’m weird or something (you don’t have to answer this) but I don’t
really want to stay in some place nicer than where I live. I like our
house and our neighborhood. To me, hotels and motels are just a place to
sleep, not to live. I need a good bed and one of those old air
conditioning units that will freeze you out in about 15 minutes. The kind
that makes that …"whoomp-whoomp" noise ever so often. I’ll
bet they don’t have that in the hotel on the island in Michigan. Which
makes me wonder about the reservations clerks attitude…where does he
stay when he travels? Somehow, I can’t believe a hotel clerk can afford
$600 per night room rates either.
But you know, come to think of it
there was something special about that suite in San Francisco, they did
leave extra nice mints on the pillows each night. Those I do remember. As
usual send comments to me at www.pearyperry.com.
If you’re a frosty hotel clerk, don’t bother.
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