Ah,
the fun of a summer vacation. The peace, the tranquility, the rest, and of
course the inevitable hours of the day deciding what not to do. This time we
escaped to Grand Cayman Island. Our typical day consisted of the following: wake
up about 6:30am (why can’t you learn to sleep later?) drink coffee on the
porch overlooking the beach until about 8AM. Discuss most of the problems with
the world and offer very few solutions. Eat breakfast until about 9AM …clean
up the kitchen then; take a walk on the beach for an hour or so. Back to the
condo by 11AM and then lay on the beach until noon. Walk into patio and swim in
the pool until 1:30pm. Go inside, shower and eat lunch. Take a nap, get up watch
the news and then try to figure out what to do for dinner. Come back from
dinner, sit on porch until 9 or 10pm, try to solve some more of the worlds
problems…then head inside and finish a few chapters of a book and drift off to
sleep. In the morning, repeat the above.
No phone calls, no faxes, no e-mail, no cell phone, and no
newspapers. The problem with this is that it just doesn’t seem natural and it
really requires a lot of work to get into the swing of just goofing off. After
having worked for over 40 years at one thing or another, just being still
requires more effort than you realize. It’s kind of like being told to take a
nap when you were in elementary school. I could sure use those days again. Some
people have a unique ability to relax and let go at a moment’s notice. I
don’t. It takes me a few days to unwind and get with the program.
The trick is to be unwound before you have to leave and
return to the real world. First off, I over packed. I could have made do on
about ½ of what I brought. The dress code of the day was usually shirt, shoes,
and shorts. You could wear a bathing suit, but shorts worked just as well most
of the time. Oh, yes and a hat. You needed, or at least I did, a hat. Otherwise,
my cranium would be cooked to well done in a short period of time. It doesn’t
take any time at all to be completely broiled in sun this bright. I’m amazed
at some folks that just seem to ignore the fact that sunburns hurt. We saw
people on the beaches that were the color of ketchup and they seemed totally
oblivious to pain. Of course, we only saw them for one day…very few were out
for the second day. Nothing hurts like bad sandy sunburn. Not my idea of fun.
Probably not theirs either.
In the afternoons, between naps we’d stay inside and
watch the US Open Golf tournament. Not being much of a golfer, it was fairly
interesting and new to me to follow 4 days of the tournament. As always, I’m
amazed at the statistics that are kept on various sports. For example, someone
keeps a tally on the amount of money each player has made in major tournaments.
I can see where this is handy to know. I’d bet the IRS keeps these same
figures somewhere. At this point I start to wonder who decides what statistic
needs to be kept and why? For example, they keep totals on the average driving
distance. That’s fine, since you’d want to track players to see if they are
getting too old or losing their game which would be reflected in distance.
How about something called Driving Accuracy percentages?
What’s this all about? Is this how many car wrecks the guys had or not had
over his career? Or, this one….Greens in regulation percentage? Is this
something to do with salads or maybe mustard or turnip greens? What are Greens
in regulation? Another one that I find very confusing is something called a
"Sand Save Percentage." For heavens sake, what is this? Who saves
sand? Why would you save sand? Why don’t they explain what these figures
relate to and why they are kept? Where do they get this figure? Even more
interesting, is who keeps these figures? Who decided that this figure needed to
be kept? Is there some PGA committee that meets during the year and analyzes
what needs to be recorded for the books for all time? Maybe we ought to suggest
some other items that all of us might like to know.
For example, on golf tournaments I’ve never seen anyone
leave and take a time out to go to the men’s room. Is it not allowed? Do you
get a penalty for leaving the greens? Do you have to hold your hand up like we
did in elementary school? "Let’s go back live to #12 where Reginald
Nanook is signaling for a potty break. What do you suppose this means,
Fred?" Fred probably would be wise not to answer at this point. Who keeps
totals on what they drink? Do pro golfers drink more water or soft drinks? What
kind of soft drinks? Diet or regular? Cans or bottles? De-caffinated or regular?
I’d be interested in knowing how much weight they lose in a day’s walk
around the course. "Fred Jones weighed in at 175 this morning and finished
up at 172. His career loss is 2,219 lbs. This ties the record set by Herman
Peanod of Spokane back in 1947. He only has to lose another 34 pounds to become
the first golfer under the age of 35 to lose 155 pounds in one season.
At this pace he may end up setting a new worlds record for
weight loss." At least all of this kept my brain thinking so the week
wasn’t a total loss. Next year, I’ll plan ahead and do something more
constructive, like count calories. Something I didn’t do this trip. Perhaps
walking that course might be the very thing for me. I’ll keep you posted. Send
golf stories to me at www.pearyperry.com.
Send weight loss and fat reduction ideas to someone else.
